Best men toasting the groom as part of their duties

Best Man Duties – Become A Legend

Best Man Duties – Become A Legend

So you have the dubious honour of being Best Man. But other than shaving off the groom’s eyebrows the night before the wedding, what exactly is expected of you? Here are our six steps to being the best Best Man possible...

(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)

1 – Check the small print

So the basics are

  • Check what’s expected of you
  • Organise the stag do
  • Don’t lose the rings
  • Get him to the Church or wedding venue
  • Give a rocking speech that leaves the bridesmaids swooning

But what else is expected? The groom may want help organising the tuxes. His partner might be wanting a heartfelt blog post for their website (though let’s hope not!).

Make sure you check with the happy couple what is expected from you upfront, draw up a checklist, and schedule your ‘to dos’ into your calendar. This includes setting up the stag whatsapp group, and sending alerts to the group if they need to sign waivers/check in online etc. It’s often the little things that get forgotten!

wedding speech

2 – Get Crew Support

Thankfully, you’re not in this alone. You’re going to need ideas for the stag do, ammunition for the speech, and pictures of the groom wearing a princess dress when he was 5, just for your own amusement.

Remember, if the groom’s partner isn’t giving a speech, you can also tap them up for some ‘insider’ intel into what may be the comedy challenges in the future marriage!

If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by the various responsibilities, see if you can outsource some of the more tedious tasks to your ‘support team’ of if you are lucky the groom will have already appointed the ‘groomsmen’. Maybe get a different usher to organise the activities for different days on the stag weekend, for example.

3- Organise a Modern Stag Do

Let’s face it, this is the best bit. But it doesn’t have to be just beers and a strip club- in fact, it shouldn’t be!

Chillsauce offers a great choice – and easy ways to organise it too (including the stags paying directly for their place). The Stag Company suggests everything from ‘beer bikes’ to putting on your own Highland Games – but best to stay clear of the ‘fake arrest’ option if you ask us.

Maybe combine a bit of culture with your alcohol consumption – and check out a beer spa. Or maybe a Peaky Blinders-themed Escape Room. It’s a seriously good look.

4 – Refined Boozing

This is a special occasion, which calls for special drinks. And no, that doesn’t include Special Brew.

You’ve no doubt had enough lagers and jaeger bombs with one another over the years, so why not try something a bit more celebratory?

Create a cocktail list of retro gents drinks- think Whiskey Sours or Old Fashioneds.

Or start the night in a bar that serves the highest quality tequila- we like Patron Silver or George Clooney’s Casamigos. Get trashed if you have to, but do it in style.

Alternatively, how about an alcohol-free stag? Yes, it’s an actual thing. Everything from tank driving to playing with the groom’s football hero, is better when you’re sober.

5 – Write a Legendary Speech

Yes, we know you’ve seen the groom in some- interesting – situations. But does his Great Aunty Doris need to know about all of them? And if his new spouse asks for an annulment before the dessert has been served, then you’ve done a bad job.

We think a good length for a speech is around eight minutes. That’s about 1100-1200 words. That might seem short when you write it up, but it can seem much longer to a crowd of people who have been drinking champagne since 11am and are itching to get their hands on their profiteroles.

If you can think of a theme for the speech, that would be perfect. Is there something the groom is really into that could form the basis of the speech?

  • Did he once go to a Take That concert, and you’ve never let him forget it? Maybe use the words of Mr Barlow to give the speech some structure.
  • If he’s a teacher, maybe share the surprising things he’s taught you over the years – the good, the bad, and the seriously worrying.

Whatever you do, don’t mention his exes. Even if there is a really brilliant story involving them and a llama. Save that one for the stag do, or if you must, later on at the reception when everyone has had a few drinks.

Read our full list of tips for Legendary Best Man Speeches.

Of course, depending on the stag do hangover and your writing ability, you may want to follow the lead of many other savvy best men and recruit the Speechy team to do the hard work for you. We’re TV comedy scriptwriters by trade and we’ve written for people such as Richard Hammond, Sharon Osbourne and David Mitchell. We know how to entertain people and we can help you deliver a speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons. Check out the various ways we can help you.

6 – Look After Your Mate

It’s now your official job to make sure he stays alive until he is hitched. Then it’s his partner’s job, and you are absolved of all responsibility.

Chances are, even if he’s marrying the love of his life, there will be nerves on the big day. Take him for a drink, but make sure it’s just the one.

This is going to be one of the most amazing, but intense days of his life, and it’s your job to help reduce the stress on the day.

If you’re married, have a think about what advice you would have appreciated on your big day. If you’re not, remind him just how terrible it is being on Tinder.

Good luck and have fun!

The Speechwriting Experts

The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.

Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.

Heidi and the Speechy Team

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''I had an unbelievable experience working with Speechy. From the moment I got in touch with them I felt supported and come the day of my best mans speech, it went down a storm with a standing ovation.''
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