#SayItDon’tShareIt

Valentine’s Day: A Celebration of Love… and Oversharing?

Valentine’s Day is meant to be a celebration of love, but in the age of social media, it’s also become a competition. The ‘perfect’ couple’s selfie, the staged breakfast-in-bed shot, the long-winded captions declaring someone the best partner in the world—we’ve all seen it.

But here’s the thing: real love doesn’t need an audience.

As a wedding speechwriter (aka someone who spends their life immersed in romance), I’m here to make the case for keeping your Valentine’s Day private this year. Discover why oversharing ruins romance—and how to write a love letter that actually matters.

Join the #SayItDontShareIt movement with Speechy!

The Science of Oversharing (It’s Not Pretty)

Social media can be fun, but studies suggest that couples who post excessively about their relationship tend to be less secure in it.

📉 A University of Kansas study found that partners who share too much online are often compensating for feelings of insecurity in their relationship.

😬 A Pew Research study revealed that people who frequently post about their relationship experience higher levels of relationship anxiety than those who keep things private.

💔 Excessive phone use reduces intimacy in relationships. There’s even a term for it—phubbing (partner-snubbing). If you’ve ever ignored your date to take a ‘candid’ couple pic, congratulations, you’re guilty.

📉 Research indicates that the pressure to capture perfect photos for social media can detract from the enjoyment of experiences. A study from the University of Florida found that individuals tasked with taking photos specifically to share on social media reported lower enjoyment levels compared to those who took photos solely for personal use or those who didn’t take photos at all.

😬 Additionally, a survey by a wedding photography company highlighted that nearly 70% of couples feel pressured to create a “memorable” proposal due to online influences, indicating that social media expectations really do impact those personal moments. And not for the better!

Translation? That perfectly curated Valentine’s post might not be as romantic as it seems.

SayItDontShowIt

Why Public Declarations Are Overrated

Oversharing on Valentine’s Day isn’t just annoying (seriously, your single friends are begging you to stop), it also misses the point of romance.

Romance isn’t about proving your love to the internet. It’s about proving it to your partner. And that’s best done in private.

• Instead of posting a tribute, write them a love letter (yes, an actual letter, with paper and ink).
• Instead of broadcasting your plans, cook them a meal, without the need for an aesthetic TikTok montage.
• Instead of ‘candidly’ filming them opening a gift, just enjoy the moment.

Because at the end of the day, likes and comments don’t measure love. How well you know your partner (and whether you remember their coffee order) does.

Join the #SayItDontShareIt Challenge

So here’s the challenge: this Valentine’s Day, keep your love OFF social media. No boomerangs, no gushy captions, no ‘spontaneous’ but clearly staged photoshoots. Just real, offline romance.

Because love isn’t about showing off. It’s about showing up.

So, How Do You Actually Say It? (Without Making It Cringe)

Alright, so you’re on board. You’re ditching the Instagram caption and the Pinterest quotes and actually saying something meaningful this Valentine’s Day. But… what do you say? How do you avoid sounding like you copy-pasted from a romcom script?

As professional speechwriters at Speechy, we know that the best words are the ones that feel personal, natural, and real. Whether you’re writing a love letter or just saying something heartfelt over dinner, here’s how to do it right:

1️⃣ Ditch the Clichés – Be Specific

No one wants to hear “I love you more than words can say” (because then… why are you saying it?). Avoid the generic Valentines platitudes. Instead, go for something unique:

• “I love how you always start singing the wrong lyrics with complete confidence.”
• “I love that you make me a tea even though you think herbal drinks are ‘leafy nonsense’.”

Good love letters feel like they could only be written for one person.

2️⃣ Start With a Memory

The best speeches (and love letters) start with a moment.Think about a time when you felt happiest, proudest, or most in love with them. Example:

• “Remember that time we got caught in the rain, and you made me dance in it instead of running for cover? That’s us. That’s why I love you.”

3️⃣ A Compliment That Actually Means Something

Studies show good, old-fashioned compliments work. They help couples stay together in fact.

The problem is you have to put a bit of effort in to a compliment.

“You’re amazing” is nice. But why? Try something a little deeper:

• “I love how you turn every bad day around with just one ridiculous joke.”
• “I love how fiercely kind you are—even to people who don’t deserve it.”

Saying ‘I love you’ is great. Saying why is even better.

Check our Speechy’s The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches for more inspo on crafting a killer line.

4️⃣ Keep It Light (Unless You Want to Go Full Shakespeare)

You don’t need to make them cry. You just need to put a genuine smile on their face.

If you have a fun, playful relationship, lean into that.

A little humour makes everything more genuine. Examples:

• “I love you even though you steal my fries every time. And no, I don’t believe you ‘just want one’.”
• “You’re my favourite person. And I like, at least, five people.”

5️⃣ End With a Promise (Or a Plan)

Instead of “I’ll love you forever,” try something real:

• “I promise to always pretend your terrible puns are funny.”

Or, set up something to look forward to:

• “Can’t wait to grow old with you and argue over ridiculous things, like what the best biscuit is.”

#SayItDon’tShareIt – And Say It Well

You don’t need fancy words, grand gestures, or a perfectly staged photo. You just need something real. Whether it’s a handwritten note, a text, or just a whispered “I love you” at the right moment, say it to them—not to the internet.

And if you need a little help finding the right words? Well, that’s what we do at Speechy. 💌