(*Of course, if youโre looking for more than โadviceโ, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)
‘(Of course, if youโre looking for more than โadviceโ, check outย Speechyโs bespoke speechwriting service.ย We also have a range ofย excellent speech templatesย that might be just what you need.)
(*Of course, if youโre looking for more than โadviceโ, check outย ourย eulogy writing serviceย or ourย eulogy template.)
(Of course, if youโre looking for more than โadviceโ, check out Speechyโs bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
Wedding speeches have the power to transform a wedding. They can kick-start the party and create lifelong memories.
Great speeches should be slap, bang, at the core of every modern wedding. Of course, there’s the romantic view that speeches should be spontaneously wonderful. Yes, don’t put words in people’s mouths – but it pays to at least think about the speeches in advance.
Help your clients reach their full speech potential by checking out our 10-point plan.
If your clients want to go down the traditional father, groom, best man route, thatโs fine but at least get them to question it.
Guests love it when women get involved (even today, it still feels unusual) so encourage a more modern line-up. Brides shouldnโt feel pressure to do anything they donโt fancy, but we can personally vouch for the fact a bride’s speech is FUN.
If the bride’s reluctant, get her to think about other women who might grab the mic. Maybe it’s her sister saying a few words or perhaps itโs her nan sharing her comedy tips for a long & happy marriage. It doesn’t need to be a long or formal speech.
Another option is for the couple to deliver a joint speech. This takes the pressure off just one of them and allows the newlyweds to develop their double-act. It’s a big trend this year so get them to check out ourย joint speech adviceย if they’re up for it.
Of course, donโt just think about the obvious speakers โ think inventively. Young children always have comedic things to say about love and itโs great if you have an elderly relative who can add some suitably cynical advice. Contributions neednโt be lengthy, in fact, better if theyโre not. Quirky and cute is what weโre after.
We โfess upโฆ. speech-politics are a pain in the proverbial. Stepdad versus dad. The childhood friend versus the groomโs funny mate. Itโs tempting to bury your head in the sand and hope the couple just sort it out, but hold on, you can do thisโฆ
Get the couple to think about their dream lineup and then work out if anyone would be upset by it. If the answer is yes, they could consider inviting them to give a short speech too, or even better, a reading (whereby their contribution is โcontainedโ).
Re. the risquรฉ best manโฆ it really depends on how the groom feels. The bride shouldn’t put pressure on him to drop his mate, but if heโs also nervous about โMad Peteโsโ contribution, suggest the groom recruits a โbest man squadโ. If several of his mates divvy up the best man duties, itโs legitimate to put Pete in charge of the rings and Sensible Sam on speech-duty.
This is easy when it’s a same-sex wedding but at heterosexual weddings, helping the groom with his speech can be controversial. Weโve met many a bride who have seethed โHe. Has. One. Blooming. Job. To Do.โ
We get it, we do. But before you leave him to his solo-speech-writing, it’s worth having a chat with him about it.
There’s a heck of a lot of brides sadly disappointed by the groom’s efforts on the day. Even if they’re not actually heckling โget on with itโ or shouting โthat so didnโt happenโ, witnessing their new husband’s shocking attempt at being romantic can sour the sweetness of the day.
Clearly, everyone wants the groomโs speech to be heartfelt, original and you know, downright amazing but remember thereโs a lot of pressure on him. He has the most speech โto dosโ (thanking guests, toasting bridesmaids, blah de blah) so donโt let him wallow in panic and resort to dodgy templates (though clearly a Speechy groom template would be fine!).
Whether or not the bride’s giving a speech, the couple needs to have a proper discussion about the thank yous. Get him to check out our groom speech advice if you want his thank yous to sound less like a clichรฉd list (clue: donโt use clichรฉs).
Of course, writing the speech is only half the battle. If the groom’s the nervous sort, make sure he reads how to deliver your speech like a pro. It’s got lots of advice in it from our years working with at the BBC and directing presenters, so genuinely good tips.
In fact, you can direct any speaker to our advice pages. Or feel free to read our advice and pass it on as your own!
A great speech hackโฆ Get the couple to ask guests for their โmarriage adviceโ when they send out the invites.
It can provide great material and guests love to get a name-check in the speeches. The advice we received when we did a similar thing ranged from โfind a thermostat temperature you can both live with and never change itโ to โno number twos in front of each otherโ. Humorous and very, very wise.
There are obviously options like Speech Bingo, but the novelty’s wearing thin. If you have the time to create a couple’s personalised versions (with references to their classic anecdotes like ‘the Ibiza incident’) then it feels less of an ‘add-on’ and more genuinely funny.
Another idea is #spontaneous speechesโ – a concept stolen from the continent where itโs not unusual for everyone to propose a toast to the newlyweds. Basically, there are no formal speeches but invites encourage guests to โfeel free to call for silence and say something (nice!) or read a verse, or just say Hooray or raise a toastโ. Toasts are then proposed between the courses of the wedding meal.
This works well for boho weddings because itโs casual, cool and gets funnier as more wine is consumed.
An easy one this. Take any gift-giving out of the speeches. Itโs not the time or the place.
Yes, itโs nice to give the mums flowers and the maid of honour will appreciate her bling, but encourage the couple to deliver their gifts personally rather than in front of a crowd. Itโs always awkward if they include it in the speeches (both logistically and editorially) โ and it gives the guests an excuse to start checking their WhatsApp messages.
Gone are the days when we need to toast the โhealth and happiness of the happy coupleโ with a glass of Champagne. Toasts should reflect the couple getting hitched whether thatโs a shot of tequila, a glug of bourbon or a sip of Indian chai. Be inventive but remind the bride not to be insulted if her nan rejects the Jack Daniels option.
A delicate one but you’ll know if either the bride or groom has recently lost a close relative. If so, we recommend reading our Dearly Departed post.
Even when people think theyโve come to terms with the loss, a wedding is a highly emotional day so itโs worth thinking about the best ways to honour lost loved ones without the speeches turning into eulogies. Remind the couple that the speeches should remain joyful, and that their loved ones need to be remembered with a smile.
It might be appropriate to suggest the couple plan a dinner in the run-up to the wedding where they can pay a special tribute to them and shed a few tears in advance of the day. Couples often find it comforting to have a proper chance to honour their loved oneโs absence without it taking over the actual day.
Avoid the โspeech clumpโ and get clever with how you schedule the speeches. An hour of speeches is too long – even for super-fans like us!
Think about dotting the speeches throughout the day. Schedule one between each course of the wedding meal so everyone can enjoy the interjection and they donโt tire of the stand-up, sit-down palaver of three toasts in quick succession.
Another option is to schedule the โmain actโ (whoever that may be) for the evening do. Maybe itโs the surprise bride speech, or the naughty best man โ whoever it is, itโs a great way of making the b-list invitees feel part of the whole day.
Okay – so you’re officially in charge of the stage management.
You no doubt already know far too many speeches are ruined because people simply canโt hear them. People spend days honing their humour, only for the joke to get lost in the bad acoustics of a shiny floored hall. Obviously, the solution is simple; hire a mic and test it on the morning, along with any other tech that’s going to be used. On an even more simple note, keep a back up copy of the speeches for the speakers.
And, of course, the ultimate distraction during the speechesโฆ children. As cute as they (sometimes) are, itโs preferable if they’re not involved in the heckling of speakers. Activity packs are essential. Here are some good ones that might raise a smile from the adults too.
For couples who realise their wedding speech is an important investment, it’s worth knowing about our bespoke writing service.
It’s a premium service where we work closely with clients to write their dream speech. As ex-BBC scriptwriters, we’ve worked with everyone from Richard Hammond, to Sharon Osbourne, David Mitchell to Mel Geidroyc and you can check out our credentials here.
Our Speechy clients have included Monte Carlo billionaires, FSTE 100 Chief Execs and government officials. We’ve worked with brides from Melbourne, gay grooms from New York and mothers of the groom from Cape Town. We love creating unique speeches that genuinely reflect the couple they’re celebrating. You can find out more about all our services on our home page.
Our TV-trained scriptwriters have helped thousands of speakers deliver unforgettable moments. Our advice has been featured inย The New York Times, Forbes and on BBC Sounds & our founder wrote the definitive handbook ‘The Modern Coupleโs Guide to Wedding Speeches‘.
