(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)
Let’s be honest… the term ‘dad jokes’ didn’t just come from nowhere. Dads earned that title.
And slightly dodgy humour is fine for when your daughter visits or even at a family BBQ but you need to up your game when you’re officially the wedding warm-up man.
So a few rules.
GET REAL – When we write wedding speeches, we never use the same line twice because we know the best sort of humour comes from the reality of life.
As Homer Simpson says ‘It’s funny ’cause it’s true’.
Your speech’s humour needs to come from real, actual events that happened between you and your daughter and the observations you can make about her individual character.
So have a good sit down and really think about all her funny stories, anecdotes and characteristics you can. If you need help from your wife, that’s fine. It’s not cheating. In fact, call in the intel of any of her siblings too.
HUNT THE HUMOUR – Think about the big stories (how she managed to reverse into your garage on her first driving lesson) but try to remember the little details too (how she used to cry when Noel Edmunds came on the telly).
Remember her first crush. Her biggest phobia. Her favourite flavour of Pringle. All her little quirks, eccentricities, guilty pleasures and, of course, bad habits!
Basically, ask yourself lots of questions and you’ll inevitably find some comedy nuggets in there somewhere.
FIND YOUR COMEDY CHARACTERS – The good news is, it’s not just your daughter you focus your teasing on, it’s her partner too!
With a groom, you can get brutal about his skinny jeans, questionable tattoos and dubious job title (what is it he actually does?).
With a same-sex wedding, gentle teasing is still to be encouraged but more compliments and affection is necessary. Yes, it may be slightly sexist but it’s also prudent.
A final character to play with? You of course! What must it have been like for your daughter to grow up with a dad like you? Maybe it’s your chance to apologise.
Or has she inherited your love of Excel spreadsheets and West Brom Football team? In which case, again, just apologise.
Joke Writing Tips
CUT IT OUT – By the time you’ve finished writing up all the stories, you’re probably going to have enough to publish six biographies. But as a speech is only seven or eight minutes long, you need to get ruthless!
Go through the jokes and cut out the waffly ones or any that are overly complicated. And any that are just too obvious. The fact your daughter didn’t sleep as a baby or her violin recitals were awful ain’t much of a surprise.
Jokes are better punchy. Same with the speech as a whole.
Aim for 70% humour, 30% sentiment (making sure you conclude with some lovely, touching thoughts).
GRAB YOUR QUOTE LOVE – And if you’re really struggling to create original humour, read our How To Be Funny blog for more tips or consider using some comedy quotes. Whilst plagiarism is never allowed, quoting people who are wittier and funnier than you is! Check out our Father of the Bride Quote blog.
Delivering The Humour
Sure, you’re bound to be nervous. Everyone is. However, there are some tips you can follow to make sure all goes to plan.
SLOW IT DOWN – Firstly, make sure you take your time and talk slower than you would naturally. Channel the vocal speed of Morgan Freeman.
Hopefully, you’ve made sure you have some humour within the first 20 seconds of your speech. This will immediately relax both you and your audience.
PERFORM – From here, it’s all about eye contact and performing to your audience. Don’t just read the speech off a sheet of paper. This is your five minute set at the Apollo! So make the most of it.
The perfect eye-roll or comedic pause can elicit as much laughter as the lines themselves so make sure you allocate some of your speech rehearsal time to really performing it (rather than just trying to memorise it).
KEEP QUIET – And when you do deliver your speech – leave pauses where you expect laughter (sometimes the audience need a moment to ‘get it’) and never start talking over laughter you’ve worked so hard to get!
SMILE – Make sure you smile from the get-go (it’s scientifically proven to be infectious) and feel free to laugh at your own jokes too!
ENJOY IT – Because it’s time dads reclaimed the term ‘dad joke’.
The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.
Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.
