A heart-warming tribute to your bride should be the focus of your speech but remember every bride thinks her partner is gorgeous, kind and generally amaaazing.

Cut the cliches and concentrate on what makes your woman unique.

Is she a library-lover, a technology fiend, a devoted foodie? Nailing her individual and quirky characteristics shows you ‘get her’ Avoid words like ‘soulmate’ or ‘beautiful’, anything that’s overused.

Avoid too many adjectives and instead provide the evidence. Prove, don’t tell!

All wedding speeches need to be humorous. That’s what hooks people into your story and makes speeches a wedding highlight.

Of course, being funny isn’t about finding good jokes on the internet but rather making witty observations about your relationship.

Conduct a courtship-autopsy; what have you and your girlfriend done together, what you argue about, what seems to be a regular theme in your relationship, how do you frustrate each other? See what you can have fun with.

Remember the adage ‘it’s funny because it’s true’ and read our How to Be Funny Guide on our blog.

Right, this is the crucial bit. Your speech should tell a story.

Yes, it’s made up of lots of different elements but it needs to hook people in from the beginning, establish a theme and carry that through to an almighty climax.

One example might be a teacher who talks about the lessons she’s learnt from her partner over the years – the good, the bad and the ability to now shout a range of football chants. Or it could be a story about the strange quirks of fate that brought you two together. If your partner’s a Star Wars fan, maybe you could use Yoda quotes to talk about what makes a successful marriage!

Find out #whatsyourstory

The length of your speech depends on whether your bride is also giving a speech.

If you’re both giving a speech – aim for five or six mins, if it’s just you then you can plan for about eight minutes (ten allowing for laughter and ad-libs).

Remember one ever has ever listened to a wedding speech and said ‘if only it were longer’.

Once you write your first draft, edit it down to half the length. We promise it will make it a hundred times stronger.

As Ernest Hemingway said ‘the first draft of anything is shit’.

Don’t bother mentioning you’re marrying a woman.

It’s blooming obvious. Let’s hope your guests are up to speed with same-sex marriages and are more interested in their salmon soufflés than they are your sexuality.

Don’t be tempted to turn your speech into a sermon about equal rights – the fact you’re marrying a women doesn’t grant you the right to be preachy or pompous on your wedding day. Guests just want to hear about your romantic love story.