Love On The High Seas – Because Even Pirates Enjoy a Good Wedding Speech

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It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day; let our crew smuggle some jokes into your wedding speech

You’ve got the booty (though you probably shouldn’t call her that) and you’re ready to get tide down (play along now)…

Suddenly you’re feeling all at sea; writing your wedding speech is giving you cabin fever, you’re at the end of your rope, and ‘poop deck’ has taken on a whole new meaning.

Don’t be a nervous wreck, our team of trusty comedy writers will ensure you won’t look like a plank. Follow our expert tips to write a speech your guests are shore to love…

Don’t Surf the Net

Believe us when we say there’s no fun in Googled gags or parroting jokes your granny’s heard a hundred times. Real-life stories will stave off mother-in-law’s resting beach face

Don’t Give in to Pier Pressure

You shouldn’t feel burdened with ‘being funny’. A few good anecdotes tied together with a buoyant theme will keep your narrative afloat

Don't be Salty

If things haven’t gone swimmingly with your in-laws, now’s not the time for battleships. Admit you’ve grown to love them – it helps if there’s an element of truth but this isn’t essential

Don’t get Ship-Faced

Being three sheets to the wind might work for Jack Sparrow, but in our experience too much booze never made any speech better. Drinking plenty of water will keep you anchored

Be Pacific

Don’t just say your new wife is a ‘beauty’ or your husband’s a ‘scallywag’ – keep friends and family captive with some juicy real-life titbits that they can recognise in each of you

Not All Treasure is Silver and Gold

The real gems come from you and your fiancé’s life together. Just don’t go into too much detail about your first Jolly Roger…

Let the Experts do the Navigating

Our speeches aren’t pirated and, unlike wooden pegs and hooks, don’t cost an arm and a leg. Our templates will give landlubbers their sea legs in no time.  If you’ve written something but aren’t sure if it passes muster, our review service will provide the overhaul it might need. For a speech to really treasure, you’ll want to invest in our unique bespoke service

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Stow away our speech advice and you’ll be as happy as a clam.

About Speechy

We’re a team of BBC-trained scriptwriters turned speech specialists, helping nervous wedding speakers around the seven seas (alright, we’ll stop with the puns now)

There are 700,000 wedding speeches each year in the UK alone, and our clients reach worldwide. We’ve worked with FTSE 100 chief execs, Monte Carlo millionaires, TED talkers and truck drivers

Having worked on primetime TV and radio, we know how to make an audience laugh. Our bespoke service never resorts to recycled jokes or cut-and-pasted platitudes

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