It’s hard not to resort to the obvious clichés when you talk about love but there are ways. Luckily, rather than needing to become a poet overnight, it simply involves asking yourself the right questions…
Here, the Speechy team reveal some of the questions they use to get the best out of people when they’re writing bespoke wedding speeches.
(Of course, if you already know you want more than simply advice, check out our groom speech template, edit service or our bespoke speech writing service. We’re rated ‘Excellent’ on Trustpilot for a reason).
WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR PARTNER?
This is distinct from what you love about them. Sometimes love can be highly subjective and intangible, meanwhile, liking someone is all about them being a certifiable decent human being.
For example, today I like my partner because he let me steal his food, chose not to make a big deal about the fact I was wrong, made me laugh, picked up some litter without moaning about it and knew a lot of random facts about space that genuinely blew my mind.
INSPO: Some quotes about the power of liking someone…
- ‘It turns out I started to like you a lot more than I’d originally planned’
- ‘I like boys who are a lot taller than me, smell good and give great hugs, so, um, you.’
- ‘What I say is that, if a man really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow.’ AA Milne quote. Substitute potatoes for anything you both like – Game of Thrones, Jägermeister, whatever?
WHEN IS SHE ‘CUTE’?
It’s not the proposal or the big stuff that your partner and half the top table will already know, it’s the little things that will show you really notice her.
Maybe you fell in love with the look on her face when she’s trying not to giggle at a situation that requires being serious, or the snort-laugh that usually escapes anyway.
Recount the early days of your relationship – describe the way she looked on the third night of Glastonbury, smiling over at you whilst raving in Shangri-La – and show how she’s still just as bonkers now – wedding guests should probably hear about the daft one-sided conversations you hear her having with the dog in the mornings.
INSPO: Some cute quotes…
- ‘Focused. Intelligent. Motivated. Oh, and cute’
- ‘Cute, but crazy, but cute’
WHAT FRUSTRATES YOU ABOUT HER?
Yep, sounds like a weird thing to ask yourself when you’re writing your wedding speech right? But actually, it makes your speech memorable, entertaining and real.
As we all know, the secret to a good marriage is finding someone who knows you’re not perfect but treats you like you are. Your speech should be an honest tribute to the person you’re marrying so they know it’s from the heart, rather than just written for public consumption. So get real!
Reveal the minor irritations you have for each other and share the little foibles that continue to bug you both. Clearly don’t go near any genuinely touchy subjects – but how they never clean the recycling bin, how they can’t pack a tent, their terrible music taste and their permanent floordrobe can all be affectionately mocked.
And this means, when you get to the truly sentimental bit of the speech, it really is much more powerful.
INSPO: Some quotes about the reality of love…
- ‘I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.’
- ‘I love you more than I’m annoyed by you. Which really is a lot.’
- ‘I plan on annoying you. Every. Day. For. The. Foreseeable. Future.’
- ‘We know how to push each other’s buttons. And now, we’re married, we can push them repeatedly when bored.’
ANYTHING SHE’D LIKE YOU TO DO FOR HER?
Remember when Jennifer told Brad she’d always make him his favourite banana milkshake, and he vowed to split the difference on the thermostat? Ok we all know how that marriage ended, but the original thinking was pretty cool.
Why not incorporate some bespoke promises into your speech? Tailor it to stuff that’s completely personal to you, like:
- I promise to always protect you from spiders
- listen to your interior design ideas
- console you when England lose the rugby
- never watch an episode of Mandalorian without you
- grow old disgracefully with you
- learn to make your favourite key lime pie (and bring on the evidence for her to sample!)
HOW DID YOU SURVIVE LOCKDOWN?
Lockdown may prove fertile ground for groom speech anecdotes. Spending more time with your partner has probably meant finding out stuff about each other that you didn’t know (and possibly didn’t want to know).
Find the humour in your unique ‘working from home’ story. Did she wow you by kicking ass at her job while you went fully feral, wading through a sea of socks, pants and coffee cups to get to your desk?
Do you suspect she’s still not entirely sure what you ‘do’ for a living having witnessed your morning meetings? Are you grateful she still wants to marry you after discovering you’re a compulsive whistler/pen clicker/desk DJ? Tell her you appreciate her commitment to the cause.
WHAT ELSE DO YOU LOVE?
Krispy Kreme doughnuts? A Scandi-noir boxset? Elon Musk biographies? Whatever it is… turn it into the ultimate compliment.
‘I love you more than discovering Walkers made Onion Bhaji flavoured crisps’.
I mean, what bride wouldn’t be overwhelmed by that kind of declaration of love?
WHAT CULTURE DO YOU BOND OVER?
Music? Film? Favourite authors?
If you’re both bookworms – check out inspo on the bookshelves or get googling literature quotes. To kick you off, here’s a great article on Hitched.
If you’re festival lovers or Sonos-swingers – just pick your favourite tracks and see what lines you can find lurking in the melody. We collected some classic lyrics for you already.
And for the film buffs – there’s a surprising amount of inspiration to be found on Netflix in these lovely film quotes.
WHEN DOES SHE MAKE YOU LAUGH?
Sometimes the most romantic things can also be pretty funny, so relish the comedy of your relationship. What does she do that’s guaranteed to make you laugh?
Perhaps she can lighten a discussion about the cat missing its litter tray by looking at you dead in the eye and saying, Love Island style, ‘it is what it is’. Or is her impression of Keira Knightley’s Love Actually character realising she looks ‘quite pretty’ spot on and hilarious?
Do her fridge magnet poems crack you up because they always rhyme with ‘willy’? Or maybe she’s ditched wearing bras for singing the ‘Bouncy Bouncy’ Mighty Boosh crimp as she gets dressed in the morning.
Depending on your audience – only you can judge your guestlist’s boundaries – this is the sort of thing people love to hear.
The golden rule for being romantic without being cheesy is simply, avoid clichés.
If anything you’ve written in your wedding speech could be said by another groom about his bride, then well, think harder.
Of course, if you’re stuck, remember we do this stuff for a living.
Wedding Speech Expert
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