Best Man Jokes

The best man speech is a highlight of any wedding. Unless you’re the groom when it’s likely you’re on the wrong end of a (usually good humoured) rollicking.

However, as best man speeches have basically been a thing for millions of years since dinosaurs got married (source missing), sadly, far too often we see tired, old recycled jokes and stories.

Yes, these might be the easy way out, but if you want a speech that really stands out, resist the urge! You can come up with much better material. Here’s how…

(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ideas, you may want to consider our best man speech template, speech edit service or even our bespoke writing service. We’re ‘Excellent’ rated on Trustpilot for a reason).

A best man speech should be met with laughter, nods of recognition, maybe even applause. It should not be met with groans. That’s bad.

If you think a joke sounds familiar, it probably is. To you and to EVERYONE ELSE at the wedding.

Jokes like… ‘My name’s Mike, John’s best man. And John’s told me if I do a good job today I can be best man next time too’.

Sure, it’s not so bad it’s going to cause the wedding to be cancelled. There’s much worse. It may even raise a giggle. But come on! We expect more from you than that and, what’s more, the groom does too.

In terms of no-no’s, don’t use anything you’ve found on google, any lines you remember from someone else’s wedding speech and nothing too vulgar. Most recycled jokes tend to have some kind of innuendo so, unless it’s really good, just avoid it.

Courts of law aren’t necessarily the funniest places on earth. But, when writing a speech, ‘the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ is a pretty good mantra to stick to.

Sure, judges and solicitors aren’t exactly going for stone cold lols. But you are. And you’re going to get them if you really rack your brain for the funniest and most ridiculous anecdotes you have on the groom.

Yes, a good gag can be great. But when you’re celebrating someone’s life, the more personal and based in reality something is, the funnier it will be to everyone who knows him.

So get your friends round, chat to his family and get as much dirt down on the paper as you can! He collected beanie babies as a child – great. He’s seen Westlife three times – brilliant. He once broke his hand playing Football Manager. ALL gold.

Once you’ve identified these, the jokes will come flowing.

Sure, this is more effort than just typing ‘funny best man speech generic jokes help me’ into google. But it’s worth it.

If you’re laughing at the story, there’s a good chance everyone else will, as the bride and groom will be surrounded by their nearest and dearest.

But there are a few things to be wary of. Firstly, in-jokes. Consider your audience. If a few people don’t get a joke, that’s fine. But if you’re alienating everyone, it might be worth thinking of something else, no matter how funny it is to a select few.

Next, you’re going to want to be wary of story lengths and complexity. If they’re going on for two or three minutes by themselves with few laughs along the way, try and find something else or at the very least cut away at it. Keep the whole thing punchy so it bounces from joke to joke effortlessly.

Also, as mentioned above, try not to be too dirty. A bit of blue humour is fine. But if you’re delving into the intricacies of the groom’s sexlife for a fourteenth time in six minutes, it’s probably too much.

Everyone has their own ‘funny’ thing about them. If you already know what that is about you that makes everyone down the pub crack up, then you needn’t worry too much about this. Just do your thing!

But if you’re not naturally Jerry Seinfeld, don’t worry, you can be. Even if only for five minutes.

Take your time with the material. Let it breathe. Don’t rush it. Timing is everything in comedy, but as a general tip, slow your delivery a little so you don’t rush your set-up into your punchline.

You don’t need to memorise your speech, but it is a good idea to have practised it over and again so you only need flashcards on the big day. This gives you more space for gesticulations and eye contact – two big weapons in the performer’s armour.

And just like all stand-ups, keep a glass of water next to you, for tactical sips as the audience are cracking up.

Follow our advice and you’ll be sorted! Best man, best speech, best possible outcome.

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