(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)
‘(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our eulogy writing service or our eulogy template.)
(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
We’ve all been to those cookie-cutter weddings where you can predict every moment before you’ve even sat down. But lesbian weddings have never been about following the same tired formula. They’re about you two and the life you’re building together.
Personalised vows are your chance to set the tone. Forget “repeat after me” lines that could belong to anyone – writing your own vows makes them intimate, funny, heartfelt, and utterly yours.
And you won’t be alone. Research shows nearly half of modern couples now write personal vows, with LGBTQ+ couples leading the way in ditching tradition for something more real.
At Speechy, we’ve worked with thousands of couples and we’ve learnt that bespoke vows always hit harder. They reflect your quirks, your humour, your partnership. Done right, they’re the moment that sticks in people’s memories forever.
Before you panic and open a blank Word doc – take a breath. Start with research. Yes, Google is allowed. Browse real wedding vow examples (like the ones below) and note what feels right for you.
There are countless ways to structure vows:
Take turns reading alternate lines
Deliver them back-to-back, each with your own style
Go for a simple structure of promises (“I vow to…”) or frame them as a story
Keep them sweet and short, or let them build into something more epic
Mix humour and heart – you’re allowed to make people laugh and cry
Once you’ve found a style you like, agree on the basics together:
Length (ideally between 45 seconds and 3 minutes each)
Tone (funny, sweet, poetic, sentimental or a mix)
Content (will one recap your past, while the other dreams about the future?)
This way, your vows complement each other instead of sounding like one of you went for “tearjerker” while the other tried stand-up.
A few golden rules we’ve learnt working with lesbian couples (and couples generally) who wanted their vows to feel right:
Ditch the clichés – “You complete me” or “I never knew love until you” could apply to anyone. They’re overused and flat.
Be specific – Mention how she makes your oat latte exactly right, or how she puts up with your obsession with Scandi-noir dramas. That’s the stuff that lands.
Everyday romance beats epic declarations – “I vow to rub your frozen toes against my warm legs under the duvet” will hit harder than “I’d die without you.”
Avoid making your ‘before’ life sound miserable – Your vows should celebrate the love you’ve found, not paint single life as a tragedy.
Mix humour with sentiment – A balance of giggles and goosebumps is the sweet spot.
Think of your vows as a private joke and a love letter rolled into one. They should sound like you, not like a Pinterest board.
Here are nine vow examples showing how different tones, styles, and lengths work in practice. Use them for inspiration, not as scripts to copy.
“I vow to always share the last slice of pizza with you, even if I’ve been eyeing it since the box opened.
I promise to laugh at your terrible puns, even though I’ll groan first.
I vow to cheer you on in every karaoke bar we ever stumble into, even when you attempt Whitney Houston again.
And I promise to keep the tea strong, the duvet warm, and my love for you stronger than both combined.
You make even the dullest days sparkle, and I vow to never stop making you laugh, loving you loudly, and choosing you daily.”
“I vow to love you not just in grand moments, but in the small ones – when you bring me coffee in bed, when you text me just to say you saw a funny dog, when you tuck your cold toes under me at night.
I promise to keep finding joy in those tiny things because they’re what make us
I vow to remind you, every single day, that you are my greatest adventure.
From now until forever, I’ll be the person holding your hand, laughing at your jokes, and walking through life right beside you.”
“I vow to love you on the good hair days and the bad fringe experiments.
I vow to stay calm when you reorganise the kitchen cupboards again and then look shocked when I can’t find the mugs.
I vow to always buy you snacks when you’re hangry, even though I’ll probably eat half of them before I get home.
I vow to never skip past your favourite scene in The L Word, no matter how many times we’ve watched it.
I vow to always cheer when you belt out karaoke, even when you’re tragically off-key.
And I vow to keep finding new ways to make you laugh, because your laugh is my favourite song.
You are not just the love of my life, you’re my partner-in-crime, my co-pilot, and the best adventure I’ll ever have. Today, in front of everyone we love, I promise to choose you, every single day, with joy, with humour, and with all of my heart.”
“I vow to always watch whatever sci-fi series you’re currently obsessed with, even if it involves intergalactic politics and three-hour plot explanations.
I promise not to roll my eyes when you correct me about Star Trek trivia – too often.
I vow to buy you snacks for every film marathon and to pretend not to notice when you eat them all.
And I vow that no matter how many fandoms we dive into, you’ll always be my favourite storyline.
You are the best plot twist of my life, and I vow to spend forever writing the next chapters with you.”
“I still can’t believe I get to call you my wife. You are the most beautiful part of my every day, and I vow to never take that for granted.
I promise to listen, to laugh, to support you in all the ways you need, even when you can’t quite say them aloud.
I vow to love you fiercely, patiently, and endlessly – today, tomorrow, and always.”
“I vow to love not just you, but the family we’re building together.
Whether that’s nieces who invade our sofa, the friends who’ve become sisters, or the dog that insists on taking my side of the bed.
I promise to make our home a place of warmth, laughter, and unconditional love.
And I vow to keep showing up – for you, for us, for everything we’ll grow into together.
Because when I look at you, I see not just the woman I love, but the life we’re creating side by side.”
“I still remember the first night we talked until sunrise. It felt like the world had pressed pause just for us. From that moment, I knew you weren’t just someone special – you were the person who would change my life.
Since then, you’ve made the ordinary extraordinary. Grocery runs become adventures when you’re tossing random things into the trolley. Rainy Sundays become dance parties in the living room. Even arguments about bins end in us laughing at how ridiculous we are.
I vow to keep choosing you – in the mornings when you’re grumpy, in the evenings when you’re tired, and in the years to come when we’ve both changed and grown. I vow to listen more than I speak, to hold your hand even when it’s clammy, and to never let a day go by without reminding you how much I love you.
I vow to support your dreams – whether that’s running a marathon, writing a novel, or finally learning how to cook something other than pasta. I vow to build a home with you filled with laughter, music, and maybe far too many houseplants.
You are not my other half – you are my whole world. Today, I stand here promising to love you not with perfect words, but with daily acts, with humour, with patience, and with unshakable loyalty. You are my heart, my home, and my forever.”
“I vow to love you in sunshine and storms.
I promise to be your safe harbour when the world feels heavy, and your biggest cheerleader when you shine.
I vow to notice – the way your nose crinkles when you laugh, the way you hum when you’re cooking, the way you always make strangers smile.
And I promise to never let a day pass without telling you how much you mean to me.
You are my soulmate, my best friend, and my forever.”
“I vow to love you through every renovation project you start and never finish, every IKEA trip that nearly ends our relationship, and every time you ‘forget’ which side of the wardrobe is yours.
I promise to laugh with you when life gets ridiculous, to hug you when it gets hard, and to dance with you when it gets wonderful.
And I vow to keep our life full of joy, chaos, and love – in equal measure.”
Writing lesbian wedding vows is about making the ceremony feel like you – not like something lifted from a dusty script. Keep it specific, keep it balanced, and keep it real.
Need a bit of hand-holding through the process? Check out our Vow Writing Service.
The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.
Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.
