A great joint speech needs planning. The good news is the planning is best done over a few beers.
Yes, this is the part where you two best men get together and reminisce, or as we like to think of it, gather the evidence.
HUNT THE STORIES – Get together all your favourite groom stories, mainly the embarrassing ones but also ones that prove a point (e.g. he’s intimidated by anything adventurous or terrified of spending money).
See if you can spot a theme amongst the stories – for example, is it that he easily gets into trouble or could it be that he keeps missing amazing opportunities? A theme will help bring your speech together when you write it.
GET INSIGHTFUL – As Homer Simpson wisely said ‘It’s funny ’cause it’s true‘.
Yes, it’s time for you to hunt down the truth – which basically means spotting the groom’s fundamental flaws and identifying his weird quirks. Dissect both the groom’s physical appearance and his personality. While you’re there, compose a critique of his style, habits, abilities, and intellect.
Try to be as specific as you can. Saying he looks ‘a bit weird’ will not get as big a laugh as you pinpointing his odd ‘T-Rex sized arms’. Or saying he’s ‘overly polite’ will not be as funny as saying he ‘eats a burger with a knife and fork’.
Find the things that people will recognise as ‘him’ but never thought to articulate. And if that sounds like hard work, well, at least there’s two of you to share the burden of responsibility.
FIND SOME GOOD STUFF TOO – Surprisingly easy to forget but lurking in your speech somewhere, there has to be a genuine, warm-hearted tribute to your mate.
Don’t rely on adjectives. Prove, don’t tell – so find the anecdotes that show the groom’s attributes in action.
BRING IT TOGETHER – Here, you need to filter out the stories and find the comedy gold. Remember one excellent anecdote or line is much better than three average ones. Be ruthless. If a story takes too long to explain or feels like a deviation away from the main thrust of the speech, it’s probably not worth it.
Of course, a great speech isn’t just a collection of funny anecdotes, a great speech has a narrative arc, so make sure you consider this as you select your content.
Between you, decide how you’ll theme and structure your material. Will it be ‘The Bride’s Guide To How The Groom Works’ or could it be ‘A Groom’s Guide To Being Husband Material’? Once you decide how to theme your speech, the writing of it gets so much easier…
Read our Best Man Advice to get a better idea how find your theme.