We hear you’re getting married! Congratulations to you and the dear lady wife… Oh, Spring, that does sound delightful… Yes, it is lovely round there, isn’t it? … Fingers crossed for sun.
Right, enough of the pleasantries, we’ve got business to attend to. Read on for Speechy’s top tips on how to personalise your wedding vows.
Why Write Your Own?
We’ve all been to those same old stuffy weddings, where you can predict every single beat of the day before you even get there. But if you want your wedding to be a representation of you and your partner’s unique love for one another, why not personalise every little touch?
Vows are a great place to start, as us Brits can be a little frightened of talking about our feelings. We’re much more used to showing our love, be it with a little back-rub when they’re feeling down, a warm cup of tea when they’re working from home, or not screaming at them when they put the duvet cover on inside out again. So if you’re able to actually say your feelings, like actually out loud, your guests will be pretty darned impressed.
Have a Google. Go on, treat yourself.
There’s all sorts on Google. News. Funny cat videos. Recipes and stuff. Honestly, you wouldn’t believe it.
Now you’ve got that out of your system, do some actual research on how to personalise vows. Check out a few examples. Turns out that you can go on a website called YouTube and watch other people’s vows. Technology, eh? What’s next hoverboards?
Also start to compile a list of things your partner loves. Referencing these things will give your vows the extra personal touch and show your partner just how much you care.
Now get back on Youtube, there’s a video of a drunk man trying to ride a camel that needs your attention.
There is no fixed structure. Throw the rule book in the bin!
Admittedly there isn’t actually a rule book. I suppose this is the closest thing to a rule book, so please don’t throw this in the bin. We spent ages on this.
But our point stands, if you’re personalising your vows, you can use whatever structure you like. You can read them one after the other, you can read lines alternately, you can sing them, you can tattoo them onto your abdomen (although absolutely don’t do this).
The world is your oyster. Choose a structure that makes you and your partner smile!
Sure, you’re no Peter Kay.
I mean, if you were, your fiancée might not be quite so into you.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t inject a little humour into your wedding vows.
The secret to this is to be creative. Talk about the small things, and make promises that will actually affect your lives. What do you do that really grinds your partner’s gears? Leave wet tea-bags on the kitchen side? Choose your clothes from a carefully-cultivated floordrobe? Use lame old-fashioned phrases like ‘grind your gears’?
Whatever it is, include this in your vows. Not only does this make them feel real, personal and true, but also gives your guests a good laugh at your expense.
Don’t worry, there’ll be an opportunity for revenge later. That sweet, sweet combination of free bar, dance floor and professional photographer.
If your vows are personal, small-scale and a celebration of the minutiae of you and your new wife’s day-to-day lives, cheesiness should naturally be avoided.
In real life, your partner isn’t standing at the bottom of the stairs yelling “My heart doth flutter like a rose,” is she? No, she’s yelling “It’s a duvet cover, how hard can it be?!”
Look, I might be working through some personal issues here, but stay with me.
If the vows are truly about you and your partner, and all the little ways you interact, they won’t sound cheesy at all. They’ll be funny, sweet and personal.
Like your father-in-law’s drunken impromptu speech, these vows shouldn’t go on any longer than they have to. In reality, we would advise no more than a minute or two. For the vows. For your father-in-law’s impromptu speech, we advise no more than zero seconds.
Using quotes can be the perfect way to summarise your vows, as professional writers are often able to put into words exactly how you feel, only except they’re better at doing the words good and stuff.
Don’t be afraid to include a quote from your favourite TV show, film or novel. Something personal to you and your partner is always a special moment, and help make your vows truly unforgettable.
“I loved her because she always knew exactly why things happened” – Jeanette Winterson
Call in The Professionals
For many people, putting your feelings down on paper can be an arduous task, but here at Speechy we’re here to help.
It’s not a cheat, getting us in to assist with your big day. Nobody’s expecting you to bake your own wedding cake or whittle the chairs, so they’re not expecting you to suddenly be a writer.
We speak with you to ensure your tone of voice comes across, making your vows personalised, unique, and something you and your guests will never forget.