Rhyming Best Man Speech

As opposed to the typical toast (or roast), best men have realised a sneaky writing technique us professionals have been using for years…

Rhyming speeches immediately turn you into a genius.

Truth. Anything you have to say, anything you want to write, sounds wittier if it rhymes. Whether it’s classic poem, a rap or a limerick in style, a rhyming wedding speech turns you into a speech legend.

The Speechy team are TV comedy scriptwriters by trade (writing for BBC shows like Have I Got News For You, Dead Ringers & the BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories) and we’ve been helping best men around the world write a better class of wedding speech for years now.

This is our guide to nailing your speech.

(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than advice, check out our bespoke writing speech service. We’re ‘Excellent’ rated on Trustpilot for a reason). 

OK, let’s see what you’re up against…

Our first best man, over in America, gets plenty of laughs with a poem that has a good pace, good humour and, most importantly, actually rhymes (you’ll be amazed how many people get that wrong).

There are some great lines – especially the one about playing the Chinese Olympic team at table tennis – not an easy line to fit into a poem.

There’s also lots of wrestling stuff which we don’t understand, but either way, it’s a great speech which follows a typical best man speech structure but in poem form.

It’s funny for the first 2 and a half minutes. Then briefly sentimental. Then wraps up nicely with more laughs. Bravo!

Next, we head to Wales for a speech which is perhaps more quintessentially best man.

It’s a little blue at times (FYI – this is not compulsory) but it does the essential two jobs – pays tribute to and mercilessly mocks the groom with great balance.

There are some really funny lines and, most impressively, just look at the delivery! So confident and he ACTUALLY memorised it – bonus points!

On a separate note, if you want to be able to deliver a speech this well, maybe the all-new Speechy delivery coaching service could be for you.

So that’s how it’s done. Now to write yours!

Firstly, there are five rules we think you should follow.

1. Treat it like a normal best man speech – We’ve already linked to our best man speech masterclass, but it’s definitely worth checking out. The best, best man speeches tend to turn the groom into a clear character and then roast and toast him in equal measure, through real stories, all tied up nicely in a toast. Just because it’s a poem, doesn’t mean you can avoid doing the basics.
2. Keep it simple – If it was us, we’d stick to the typical, funny poem structures. AABB (four-line verses within which each couplet rhymes), ABAB (four-line verses where alternate lines rhyme) or AABBA (which is typical of limericks). And we all know plenty of limericks – just try to keep them clean.
3. Don’t write too many verses – A typical best man speech is five or six minutes long but you don’t have to write a poem this length. Two minutes of poetry is perfect, as you’ll probably spend a couple of minutes setting it up anyway – as the best men in the examples above do. As with all good best man speeches, just choose a couple of stories/features of the groom and dwell on the best bits.
4. Don’t panic if you get stuck – Everyone does. No writer can just knock out gold in one go – even the best ones. Go for a walk, do some exercise, have a bath with some lovely scented candles and Adele playing in the background (too much?). Push the speech to the back of your mind for a while and inspiration will strike when you least expect it.
5. Read it out loud– And do this regularly.  Not just to practice your delivery but to make sure everything really does rhyme and fits into the rhythm. Once confident enough, try it again but in front of a friend or family member. You’ll nail it in no time.

Follow our advice and you’ll be laughing (as will the bridesmaids on the day).

And if you want to see how a few verses will look once written down, here’s a sample – a verse for your former flatmate, who you suffered through for years.

ODE TO A MATE 

I’m so happy you two finally met,

Because living with Gary’s like having a pet.

Cleaning after him, changing the bedding.

But now that’s your problem after the wedding.

Like all other pets, he needs constant attention.

On nights out we’ve lost him too much to mention.

But he’s usually found in his favourite place,

On his own on the dancefloor – well off his face.

Now Gary is not what you call house-trained,

Eats all your food, the beer supply drained. 

A terrible housemate, clearly not a great catch 

But he lied his ass off when he signed up to Match 

Yes, I read his profile, it was quite an insight, 

An intellectual, a feminist, a foot taller in height 

This was not my Gary, this was not who I knew,

A sophisticated gent? He leaves skid marks down the loo. 

But then she responded, an unsuspecting chick,

Despite reading his profile, didn’t notice he’s a …. (daring kind of guy) 

Of course, Gary got excited and she agreed to a date 

Put on his best boxers, decided it was fate 

And all of a sudden Gary started to behave,

When he met said young lady on a night out in Grays.

His grooming improved, you could tell he was smitten.

He even cleaned after himself in the kitchen.

Now you’re both married and it’s heaven-sent.

Because Gary’s moved out and I’ve put up the rent.

You’re not just Gary’s master, you’re his perfect wife.

But remember, a Gary’s not just for Christmas, a Gary’s for life.

… Of course, this isn’t applicable to everyone. Skidmark references are not always advisable. Some people’s friends aren’t even called Gary.

But whoever you’re toasting, poems are the perfect way to put in that extra bit of effort for a speech that will always please the crowds.

If you want to deliver a legendary speech, work with us. We’re professional comedy writers at the top of our game and we’re ‘excellent’ rated on Trustpilot.

And, of course, in the world of Zoom, Whatsapp and Death Wish Coffee, we work with best men around the world.

Give us a call if you want to find out more about how we work, the services we offer and our DELIGHT GUARANTEE.

We’re happy to give you 15 mins of our time with no obligation to work with us.

WhatsApp us, call Heidi on 07971 224 245, email hello@speechy.com or request a callback.

We’re a global service and help best mates all over the world.