(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)
‘(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our eulogy writing service or our eulogy template.)
(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
Being a stepfather comes with no instruction manual- and neither does giving a wedding speech in this role. You may wonder where you stand, what to say, or how to strike the right tone. The good news? There’s no set script – just an opportunity to deliver a unique and heartfelt tribute to a person you’ve loved like your own.
Whether you’ve helped raise your stepdaughter since she was small or only entered her life more recently, your relationship matters. And your words will too.
This guide covers:
Traditionally, the father of the bride gives a speech. But let’s face it -tradition has evolved.
More couples today are inviting stepfathers to speak as part of the line-up, either alongside the biological dad or instead of. If the bride has asked you to speak, it’s because she wants your voice heard. Simple as that.
If you’re both speaking, have a quick conversation in advance to make sure you’re not overlapping too much – and to avoid any awkward surprises. Think of your speech as a complementary voice, not a competing one.
Being a stepfather comes with its own set of challenges – and beautiful rewards. But how you pitch your speech might depend a little on the bride’s biological dad and whether he’s present (or not) on the day.
Tread carefully and kindly. You don’t need to dwell on loss, but a short tribute can be both respectful and moving. Acknowledge the man who helped raise the bride and share your pride in continuing to support her.
Example:
“I never had the honour of meeting [her dad], but I know he’d be proud of the woman she is — and grateful she finally found someone who can handle her spreadsheet obsession.”
Keep the tone warm and focus on the love that surrounds the couple today.
This might be a sensitive subject. If the bride chooses not to mention her biological dad in her speech, you don’t have to either. Just focus on the love and relationship you do share with her. That’s what matters most.
If you’re both there and it’s amicable, it’s a good idea to acknowledge him in some small way — even if it’s just a warm mention. It shows grace and confidence in your own role. Remember, your speech isn’t a competition – it’s a celebration.
“She’s lucky to be loved by more than one dad today – and I know I speak for both of us when I say how proud we are of her.”
Keep it respectful and gracious. You don’t need to dwell – just nod to the reality of a modern family.
Let’s start with the basics. A great speech combines warmth, wit, and a little reflection. Here’s a structure that works:
You don’t need to exaggerate your role. Instead, be honest about your journey – especially if it wasn’t always smooth. Here’s a line that works well:
“I may not have changed her nappies, but I did help teach her to drive. Which is arguably just as terrifying.”
Or…
“We may not share the same DNA, but we share something just as strong – a bond that’s grown with laughter, patience, and love.”
If you’ve been around since she was young, share a sweet or funny story from those early years. If you entered her life later, say something meaningful about earning her trust and building a relationship.
Your speech doesn’t need to be serious to be sincere. A little humour helps your speech feel personal and relaxed. Think anecdotes rather than punchlines.
Imagine your stepdaughter was obsessed with spreadsheets as a teen:
“At 13, she created a holiday packing list that required colour-coded tabs, a scale, and three spreadsheets. That’s when I knew she was going to be a CEO one day – or a travel agent with OCD.”
Or maybe she was sceptical of you at first:
“When I first met her, she eyed me like I was trying to sell her an extended warranty. But I knew we’d be fine when she laughed at my dad jokes. Eventually.”
You don’t need to deliver stand-up comedy, but a few well-placed laughs will go a long way. Think:
Balance this with genuine moments of affection. Talk about what she’s taught you. What you admire. What you’re thankful for.
A well-placed quote can add warmth or wit. Use one or two max, and back-reference them to make them personal.
“Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.” – Anne Geddes
Back-ref: “I’ve never tried to replace anyone. I just hoped I could earn a place beside her.”
“Love is not about DNA. It’s about showing up.” – Unknown
Back-ref: “And I’ve been trying to show up with snacks, lifts, and bad advice ever since.”
Find more in our Quotes to Use in Your Wedding Speech blog or on Goodreads.
Not everyone loves writing speeches. That’s where we come in.
🎤 Try our Father of the Bride Speech Template — equally suited to stepdads!
📝 Got a draft already? Use our Edit Service to make it shine.
🤖 Want help from the start? Our AI Wedding Speech Generator makes writing faster.
💎 Or go bespoke with our Speechwriting Service — one-on-one help from a pro.
Being a stepfather is never about replacing someone else. It’s about creating your own role – and your speech should reflect that.
Speak with warmth, a bit of humour, and absolute authenticity. Your words don’t need to be flashy. They just need to be you.
And if in doubt? Add one great story, one lovely quote, and one heartfelt toast – and you’ve nailed it.
The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.
Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.
