Stepfather of The Bride Speech

If a bride has asked you to deliver a speech at her wedding, it’s because she feels you are one of the people who know and love her best, and we all know that she’s the boss!

A stepfather of the bride speech is becoming more common at weddings for obvious reasons. The Speechy team have helped numerous stepdads around the world deliver amazing speeches, adding humour, love and a wonderful moment to the day.

We’re TV comedy scriptwriters by trade (writing for BBC shows like Have I Got News For You, Dead Ringers & The News Quiz) but we’re wedding connoisseurs at heart.

Here are our top speechwriting techniques for you to exploit.

(*Of course, check out our stepfather speech template or our bespoke speech writing service if you’re looking for more than simply advice. We’re rated ‘Excellent’ on Trustpilot for a reason). 

You have two jobs to do and that’s to make everyone feel welcome and ensure the bride feels loved. Oh, and hopefully entertain the guests along the way.

RELAX 

Easy for us to say, but don’t get overly stressed by the old fashioned etiquette guides.

Don’t feel you have to be formal just because you’re wearing a suit.

Forget about addressing everyone as ‘ladies & gentlemen’ unless it’s a particularly large or formal wedding.

BE MINDFUL

If the father of the bride is going to be there, or if he’s making a speech himself, be careful of treading on his toes. Keep to your lane and stay away from family politics.

If the bride’s father has passed away she may want you to mention him at some point in the speech. This isn’t the time to do a eulogy but instead, talk about how proud her dad would have been of her on her wedding day. This may be one area of your speech that you want to discuss with your wife, your step-daughter and the groom before the day.

Of course, if the bride has a difficult relationship with her father and he isn’t going to be there, today is not a day to bring up your feelings around that.

DON’T STEAL THE GROOM’S THUNDER

Thank yous are traditionally the groom’s domain so don’t feel like it’s something you need to do, as tempting as that may seem.

You can always personally thank Great Aunty Doris for travelling so far to attend once the speeches are all over.

BE HAPPY 

If you’ve been asked to give a speech, consider it a huge honour.

If the bride’s father is still around, appreciate the fact she will have had a lot of tough decisions to make so make things easy for her and don’t add to any of her concerns!

All speeches should be unique and based on you and the bride’s personal relationship (so no Googling for clichéd one liners), but it’s always useful to have a structure to hand as you write it.

1. Welcome the guests, and make them laugh as quickly as possible. That first ripple of laughter will relax you and the guests.
2. Tell some funny anecdotes from when you first met the bride (especially if it relates to the woman she is now). What did you think of her, what was she like as a child or a stroppy teenager? What did you think you had let yourself into? Remember, a loving tribute includes taking the mick.
3. Pay tribute to the woman she is now. Pay tribute to the good stuff, the lovely stuff, but most importantly, the funny stuff.
4. Recount how you met the groom, how you felt about him, and all of the positive things he brings to the bride’s life (and if you really like him, share some of the less positive things too- but only if you can do it with love).
5. The soppy stuff. You may want to share some advice with the happy couple, or your hopes for them in the future. Let them know that no matter what, you’ll always be there for them.
6. The toast. Traditionally it’s “to the health and happiness of the happy couple” but we prefer a more personal touch. Something that means something to them or which ties into the theme of your speech.

Rule 1- Cut the cliches

Yes, every bride is beautiful, yes every bride is intelligent, hard-working and kind – but what makes her unique?

She may be wearing a princess dress for the day but that doesn’t mean that she is one. You love her for who she is and so does everyone in the room. Celebrate that.

Call her out for nacho-munching, overly-competitive, library-loving nerd she is!

Rule 2- Be funny

People expect the best man to be funny but no one ever left a wedding thinking “I wish the other speeches had been less amusing”.

We all know you and her mother were very proud of how well she did in her exams but unless there is a funny story attached, save that observation for another time.

We suggest a mix of about 70% humour, with about 30% heartfelt and sincere.

Think of the stories that still make you laugh. Chances are they’ll make everyone else laugh too.

Rule 3- Tell a story

The best speeches take us on a journey. They aren’t just a collection of ‘to dos’ and a list of random anecdotes.

Your speech needs a thread that connects everything you’re saying. It could be what you’ve learnt from the bride over the years (from a secret appreciation of Justin Bieber’s back-catalogue to how to cheat at Scrabble). It could be your guide to the groom re how your step-daughter works.

A theme can be perfect, whether that’s one connected to something she loves, her job or even the wedding venue, if you can weave some of your anecdotes together you’ll find the speech will land better, it’ll be easier to write, and everyone will think you’re a professional storyteller! (Although be warned- people might start taking bookings)

Rule 4- Cut The Waffle

Edit, edit, edit. If you’ve known the bride for a long time, there may be so many things you want to say, it might get overwhelming.

We suggest you aim for about 7-8 minutes tops (remember you’ll need to add time in there for laughter too- you’ll need it, we promise). About 1100-1200 words should be your absolute upper limit.

You can tell everyone all the stories you had to cut at the bar later.

Rule 5 – Have some killer lines 

And if you can’t come up with any yourself, use the words of those cleverer, wiser and wittier than you.

Luckily, we’ve curated the best Father of the Bride Quotes for you to pick from!

Rule 6 – Deliver the goods

Will there be a mic? How many people will be in the room? Do you want a full script or just some notes?

Remember, the wonderful, heartfelt, funny words you have written will need to be spoken out loud at some point, so practice! What looks good on paper can sometimes come out as a tongue twister.

Speak slowly, and don’t forget to smile. Everyone there wants you to do well, so enjoy the moment. The more you enjoy it, the more everyone else will too!

Check out our Father of the Bride Speech Advice for more ideas on how to write a great speech

The Speechy team has crafted a specific Stepfather of the Bride Speech Template to help dads like you.

Of course, if you feel you need a bit more hand-holding then we offer a number of Bespoke Services too.

And in the world of Zoom, Whatsapp and Death Wish Coffee, we work with fathers around the world. Timezone no problem.

Give us a call if you want to find out more about how we work, the services we offer and our DELIGHT GUARANTEE.

We’re happy to give you 15 mins of our time with no obligation to work with us.

WhatsApp us, call Heidi on 07971 224 245, email hello@speechy.com or request a callback.