Groom Speech Structure: Write The Perfect Speech

At Speechy, we believe writing a groom speech isn’t about ticking off etiquette boxes or making a list of thank yous. It’s about crafting a meaningful story. One with heart, humour, and a proper structure.

So here it is – the ultimate guide to groom speech structure. Not just the order of things, but how to shape your speech into something memorable. Based on advice from The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches and years of experience with clients around the world, this blog will help you master the structure, find your story, and deliver it like a pro.

The Classic Groom Speech Structure

Traditionally, groom speeches start with thank yous before heading into a tribute to the bride (or groom). But at Speechy, we believe in flipping the script.

Instead of opening with a list of names, we encourage grooms to establish a story first – something that gets your guests leaning in. A great anecdote, a strong insight, a theme that ties your words together. Once you’ve drawn people in, then you can ease into the thanks and tributes.

Here’s our modern take on the groom speech structure:

• Welcome – Greet your guest, thank them them for coming, and establish some early laughter
• Engaging Opening / Relationship Storytelling – Begin with a funny or insightful anecdote that sets the tone
• Thanks Section  – Think meaningful, not exhaustive. We’ll go into this below
• Mention of the Dearly Departed – If relevant, acknowledge them with grace
• Sincere Partner Tribute – A personal and emotional section about why you love your partner (without sounding like you copied a Hallmark card)
• The Toast – Wrap up with a bang, not a yawn

This is the skeleton of a well-structured groom speech. But of course, it’s the muscles and personality you add that make it stand tall.

“Your groom speech is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to tell the people you love why they matter, and tell your partner why they’re your person.” – Speechy’s Founder, Heidi 

Add a Theme to Your Structure

A great groom speech isn’t just a list of thank-yous and funny anecdotes – it has a theme that ties everything together. It gives your speech rhythm, coherence, and a touch of storytelling magic.

Think of it like the spine of your speech – something you can keep coming back to as you move between the heartfelt and the hilarious.

Some favourite themes:

• Love Lessons – What you’ve learnt from each other along the way (cue humour, humility, and a few wise takeaways)

• Serendipity – How fate, luck or a random Tinder swipe changed everything

• Love Over Time – Perfect if you’re marrying later in life or after a long relationship. How has your idea of love evolved?

• Opposites Attract – Because every couple has those yin-and-yang moments

Choosing a theme helps give your groom speech structure, emotional depth, and comic clarity – and makes it feel more like a story than a speech.

Use the Callback to Tie It All Together

Want your speech to sound polished, well-structured, and emotionally satisfying? Use a callback.

A callback is when you return to a key phrase, theme, or image from the start of your speech at the end. It’s a simple storytelling trick that gives your speech shape and leaves guests thinking “Ooh, that was clever.”

Callbacks:

• Make your theme feel deliberate (not just a random idea you tossed in)

• Help you land a strong emotional or funny punch at the end

• Make the whole speech more memorable

You don’t need to force it – just set up a little seed in your intro, and then return to it in your closing lines with a twist, a payoff, or a heartfelt resolution.

Call Back Example 1: The Very Unfashionable Groom

Theme: “Not Stylish, But Smart Enough to Marry Her”

Opening:
“I knew I was punching above my weight from the moment we met. Not just because she was funny, kind, and gorgeous but because I was wearing zip-off cargo trousers and Crocs at the time. And yet, somehow, she still said hello.”

Ending:
“So, while I may never win any style awards – and yes, I did consider wearing the Crocs today – I know I got one thing right. I married the most stylish, brilliant woman I’ve ever met. And that’s the best decision I’ll ever make.”

Example 2: The Nerdy Groom

Theme: “Love, Actually: The Extended Director’s Cut”

Opening:
“People say love stories are like fairy tales. Ours is more like a box set – a bit geeky, with bonus features. From our first awkward chat about sci-fi films to our weekly board game nights, I knew I’d found someone who spoke my language – literally and emotionally.”

Ending:
“So no, our story isn’t a traditional romcom – it’s better. It’s a wonderfully weird, multi-season saga starring the smartest, most patient woman I know. And I can’t wait to see what the next episode brings.”

Example 3: The Couple Who Met at Glastonbury

Theme: “Muddy Boots, Beautiful Beginnings”

Opening:
“They say you shouldn’t try to find love at a music festival. You’re sweaty, muddy, slightly dehydrated, and generally not at your best. But somehow, among the chaos of Glastonbury, I found someone who made it all feel like magic – even the portaloos.”

Ending:
“Years later, here we are. Still dancing through life together – slightly cleaner, slightly more organised – but just as happy. I may have lost my tent that weekend, but I found something far better. And I plan to hold on to her forever.”

What the Speechy Team Do With Structure

When we work with clients, structure is the foundation we build on. We help:

• Define a clear theme so the speech doesn’t feel like a ramble
• Balance the tone, weaving humour and heart
• Order the content for max impact – saving surprises, ensuring the emotion doesn’t drown out the laughs (or vice versa)
• Edit it down – a 20-minute draft becomes 9 glorious minutes

Check out some of the different ways we can help you nail it with our Groom Speech Products & Services. Everything from templates to the full bespoke speechwriting service. We’re rated excellent on Trustpilot for a reason. 

Our expert team will sure your speech tells a proper story, rather than getting bogged down on needless formalities and lists. Talking of which… 

Etiquette Without the Snooze

There are etiquette guides out there, but many just produce boring speeches. Here’s our rebel-approved etiquette advice:

• Be yourself – Don’t be overly formal. Aim for conversational
• Thank the special people (but don’t namecheck everyone) – both sets of parents, anyone who went above and beyond, and your children if you have them. Not the caterers
• Don’t give gifts in your speech – Save them for earlier or later
• Make thank yous personal – link them to your theme or include anecdotes
• The toast doesn’t have to be to the bridesmaids – Toast love, life, tequila – whatever fits your vibe

Humour + Heart = Gold

Humour matters. But it must be real.

Skip the Googled gags. Find the laughs in your day-to-day life. Who forgets anniversaries? Which one of you hoards condiments? Who can’t parallel park? That’s the good stuff.

Then shift gear into the sweet stuff. But skip the syrup.

Don’t gush. Don’t list pet names. Focus on the real, quirky reasons you love them. As Heidi suggests, make a list: “All the silly, brilliant things you love about them – like their obsession with Viennetta or their inability to walk past a dog without saying hi.”

Keep It Tight

Nine minutes max. Aim for 1,000–1,300 words. Say what matters in fewer words.

As we say at Speechy, “Long isn’t strong.” Structure brings brevity.

Test Your Structure

First, read it aloud to yourself. If a sentence trips you up every time, rewrite it.

Then test it on a trusted friend. Ask:

• Did they laugh?
• Did they learn something about your relationship?
• Did it flow?

If they didn’t get a joke, cut it. If the sentiment felt forced, rewrite.

Final Thoughts

The best groom speeches are structured like a story, delivered with honesty, and edited like a script.

Structure isn’t the opposite of spontaneity-it’s what allows you to feel confident enough to be spontaneous on the day.

“A groom speech isn’t a chore-it’s a chance. To make people laugh, cry and remember your wedding for all the right reasons.” – Heidi Ellert-McDermott