Joint Best Man Speech

How to Write a Joint Best Man Speech (Without Falling Out)

So you’ve been asked to give a joint best man speech. Cue the mix of honour, pressure, and mild panic. How do you write something genuinely funny, heartfelt, and well-structured… with someone else?

The good news? Done right, a joint best man speech can be the most entertaining part of the entire day. You’ve got the power of two. Twice the charm, twice the banter, and twice the brainpower to mine the comedy gold from your groom’s life.

Here’s how to do it properly – with tips, structure, and advice that will make your joint best man speech the one everyone talks about (for the right reasons).

Step 1 – Planning Your Joint Best Man Speech (Yes, Together)

Let’s be honest – this bit’s best done in the pub.

Start by reminiscing. That’s a fancy word for “laughing over all the groom’s questionable decisions.” You’re not just listing memories; you’re collecting the good stuff – the hilariously specific stuff that only you two know.

Hunt the Stories

Think about:

• The embarrassing stuff (obviously)
• Moments that show his flaws (is he tight with money? Hopeless at sport?)
• Times he tried to be cool and failed spectacularly

Then look for a theme. Is he always getting into trouble? Does he live in a world of near-misses and almost-triumphs? Themes help bring the speech together.

“The best man speech isn’t about listing CV-style achievements. It’s about showing the groom in all his glorious, flawed brilliance.” – Speechy’s Founder, Heidi Ellert-McDermott

Be Brutally Specific

Generic jokes fall flat. Specifics land.

Don’t say: “He’s bad with technology.” Say: “This is a man who once asked Siri how to boil pasta and then argued with her.”

Don’t say: “He has an odd sense of fashion.” Say: “He once wore Crocs to a funeral. With confidence.”

Those are the details that get laughs.

Find the Warm Bit

Yes, you need to mock him a little but you also need to prove why he’s a legend.

Dig out the stories that show he’s loyal, caring, or that rare breed of mate who once helped you move house in the rain with no complaints (and only mild grumbling).

For further insights, check out Heidi on BBC Sounds Best Men podcast 

Step 2 – Joint Best Man Speech Basics

Before you go full comedy duo, remember the etiquette and limits.

Length

The golden rule? No more than 1,500 words. That’s about 10 minutes. Anything longer and you’ll feel the atmosphere change (and not in a good way).

What to Include

You’re not doing the general thank-yous – leave that to the groom or the father of the bride. Your job is:

• Funny stories about the groom
• A tribute to the newlyweds
• A mention of how stunning the bride/groom looks
• A toast to the happy couple

And if you’re stuck on how to start, we’ve got you covered: How to Start a Best Man Speech

Step 3 – Writing the Speech (Without Wanting to Strangle Each Other)

Co-writing can be a dream… or a disaster.

Our advice? Don’t write it in the same room from scratch. Instead:

• One of you creates a rough first draft
• The other edits, adds jokes, and tweaks lines
• You come together to polish it

Or make use of our Couple’s Bespoke Speech Service – suitable for newlyweds or double acts. 

Joint Best Man Speech Structure

Think of it like a comedy script:

• Alternate lines or paragraphs
• Use dialogue-style banter
• Include scripted reactions: the mock gasp, the fake disagreement, the eye-roll

This is your chance to be a double act. Think Laurel & Hardy, Tina Fey & Amy Poehler , Batman & The Joker (Lego version). You’re a double act now – so own it.

“All those ‘spontaneous’ comedy exchanges you’ve seen? 100% scripted.” – The Speechy Team

Use Props (If It Serves the Speech)

We usually ban props. But in a joint best man speech, if you’ve got something genuinely funny – a badly photoshopped picture, a signed object, an item from the groom’s ‘shameful past’ – it can work.

Keep it slick, though. Appoint one of you as “the glamorous assistant.” 

Step 4 – Rehearse Like You Mean It

You can’t just wing this. You’ve got two voices, two personalities – and one shared goal.

So:

• Rehearse together at least twice, intensively
• Work out your cues and transitions
• Practise the ‘ad libs’ (because yes, those need planning too)

Even if you’re not speaking at the moment, you’re still “on stage.” Your reactions matter. The eye-roll, the shared look, the slow clap – they all add rhythm and humour.

Want tips on humour that works?

• Read: Best Man Speech Advice
• Or if you have the time to learn from a pro: Judd Apatow’s BBC Masterclass

Step 5 – Deliver It Like Legends

A few essential rules…

No Booze Till After

Trust us. The sloppily delivered best man speech is a tale as old as weddings. One pint max. Save the celebration till after you nail it.

We once witnessed a drunk trio of best men who got taken off mic by the mother of the bride – and it was every bit as cringeworthy as you’re imagining.

Laugh – Genuinely

Laughter is contagious. So if you want people to enjoy it, you have to enjoy it too.

Laugh at each other’s lines, lean into the awkward pauses, and if you mess something up, own it and move on. People love a speaker who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

Bonus Tips to Take It Up a Notch

• Create a call-back. Mention something early and refer back to it at the end for a full-circle punch.
• Quote someone surprising. (“As Taylor Swift once said…”) It gets a laugh if it’s unexpected.
• Add a mini segment. Like “The 3 Rules of Grooming the Groom” or “Things He’s Still Not Allowed to Do.”

And if you need help, we’ve got tools:

📝 Already written a draft? Send it to our Edit Service and we’ll sharpen it up.
🤝 Want the full thing written for you? Our Bespoke Speechwriting Service is your answer.

Final Words on Joint Speeches 

A joint best man speech is a chance to do something more than just a list of stories – it’s a chance to create a performance. One that celebrates your friend, bonds with the audience, and actually works because there are two of you.

Just plan it properly, rehearse it like pros, and remember: if it captures your mate perfectly, it’ll strike a chord with everyone else too.

Now go forth and be brilliant.