Modern Best Man Speech

Let’s be honest — the best man speech is still the highlight of every wedding, but too many crash harder than the stag-do minibus. Forget the recycled honeymoon jokes and awkward PowerPoints.

At Speechy, we help best men around the world write modern, funny, and heartfelt speeches that guests actually love. No clichés. No cringe. Just clever ideas and proper laughs.

Whether you’re naturally witty, secretly sentimental, or simply terrified, these best man speech ideas will help you smash it.

Blog Menu

• The Ideas to Avoid
• The Big Idea – Develop a Theme
• The Game-changing Idea – Get the Audience Involved
• The Clever Idea – How To Be Funny, Without The Effort
• Pro Ideas – Writing Tips
• Radical Idea – Remember the Bride (or Groom)
• Smart Idea – Rehearse Like You Mean It
• Behind the Scenes: How We Work With Best Men

The Problem with Traditional Best Man Speeches

Old-school best man speeches have become caricatures of themselves. The same jokes, the same structure, the same groans.

You know the lines…

“He’s off to Bangor for two weeks.”
“We wish the bride luck – the football team found him useless in most positions.”

Stop. Please.

A modern best man speech is personal, inclusive, clever, and surprisingly touching. It’s not about mocking the groom – it’s about celebrating him in a way that makes the room laugh and love him even more.

Ideas to Avoid

Let’s get the obvious pitfalls out of the way.

• ❌ Anything that could apply to any groom. If it’s generic, it’s gone.
• ❌ PowerPoint slides. Trust us – they died around the same time as MSN Messenger.
• ❌ Sexist clichés or jokes about marriage being a trap.
• ❌ Exes, stag-do antics, or private in-jokes. Instant cringe.
• ❌ Going full stand-up. You’re a storyteller, not a Netflix special.
• ❌ Mean humour. If the groom squirms, it’s too far.

When we work with clients, we always remind them: good comedy is observational, not cruel.

Keep your jokes affectionate, not cruel. Guests should laugh with you, not at the groom.

The Big Idea – Give Your Speech a Theme

A theme turns your speech from “random stories” into a proper narrative. It helps guests follow along, creates rhythm, and gives your jokes context.

Here are some popular best man speech themes we’ve helped our clients develop:

• The History Documentary – “The Evolution of Ben: From Xbox to Exquisite Husband.”
• The Science Experiment – “Hypothesis: Jack will never grow up. Result: inconclusive.”
• The Life Lessons – “Five Things I’ve Learned from the Groom.”
• The Award Ceremony – “And the winner of ‘Most Likely to Leave His Wallet at Home’ goes to…”
• The Wedding Survival Guide – “Tips for Sarah: How to Handle Your New Husband.”

And if you’re feeling brave…

• The Song Lyric Speech – work in a few lines that reflect your friendship (“He’s not just a ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine,’ he’s more of a ‘Hard Day’s Night’ kind of guy.”).
• The Quiz Format – get the audience involved with “hands up if you’ve ever seen Matt dance like an injured flamingo.”

When we work with best men, we often build the whole speech around one smart, memorable idea. It’s the difference between funny and forgettable.

Game-Changing Idea – Get the Audience Involved

A simple way to make your speech stand out is to break the fourth wall. Guests love feeling part of it.

Here are some interactive best man speech ideas:

• The “Hands Up” Moment – “Hands up if you’ve ever had to wait more than 20 minutes for Tom to get ready.” (Pause, count, laugh.)
• The “Repeat After Me” Game – “Let’s all say it together… ‘You’re punching above your weight, mate.’”
• The Quiz – “Quick question: what’s the one thing Josh never travels without? A) His passport, B) His hair gel, or C) His mum’s Netflix login?”
• The Groomsmen Gag – Recruit the groomsmen as your comedy wingmen. Cue them for…
   - A synchronised groan every time you mention the groom’s DIY skills
   - A slow clap when you say “…and that was the day he finally moved out of his mum’s house.”
   - A deadpan “fact-checker” to interrupt with “Actually… it was a hamster, not a dog.”
   - A planned walkout when you joke “He’s always been the handsome one.”

Little touches like these make your speech feel alive and spontaneous – even though it’s perfectly rehearsed.

Clever Idea – Let the Truth Do the Punchlines

The best way to be funny is to be specific. As we tell every client – “It’s funny because it’s true.”

Think about the details only you could share about the groom.

• The way he checks his reflection in every shiny surface
• The time he tried to fix a tap and flooded the kitchen
• His obsession with Spotify playlists no one else likes

“Chris is the only man I know who uses a hairdryer on his armpits before a night out.” Sometimes the little details get a louder laugh than the big stories.

The Pro Idea – Get It Write 

When it’s time to get sentimental, ditch the vague adjectives. Don’t say “he’s loyal” – show it.

“He once drove four hours to pick me up from a music festival because I’d lost my wallet and my shoes. He arrived with flip-flops and a McDonald’s. That’s friendship.”

Specifics make people feel something. They’re what turn a standard best man speech into a genuinely touching one.

The Radical Idea – Big Up the Bride (or Groom)

Shock news: it’s not all about your mate. A modern best man speech celebrates the couple, not just the bromance.

So ditch the token “and doesn’t she look lovely” line. Give the bride (or groom) their moment too.

Maybe she’s managed to civilise him – mostly. Perhaps, she’s learned to tolerate his dodgy karaoke. Or maybe she’s the only person alive who can tell him to sit down without it turning into a full-scale negotiation.

Show everyone you actually get why they work. That’s when the laughs start feeling real and the sentiment hits home.

Smart Idea – Prepare Like a Pro

We say this to every client we coach: great delivery beats great writing every time.

A few insider tips from our TV-directing days…

• Practise out loud. You’ll quickly spot clunky phrasing.
• Use printed cue cards – not your phone. (No guest wants to see you scroll through WhatsApp mid-toast.)
• Smile, pause for laughs, and enjoy it.
• Don’t drink too much beforehand. Two drinks max, hero.
• Keep it under ten minutes. (Eight is usually perfect.)

If you’re nervous, check out our Delivery Coaching Service – we’ll get you looking confident and sounding natural in no time.

Behind the Scenes: How We Work With Best Men

We’ve written speeches for best men who were terrified of public speaking, for brothers who didn’t know where to start, and for mates determined to get a laugh without crossing the line.

With our bespoke speechwriting service, you work one on one with us. We use your stories, your tone, and your humour to make something uniquely yours.

Whether you want a quick edit, SpeechyAI support, or just our easy-to-use best man speech template we’ll make sure your speech earns you legendary status.

As one of our clients put it:

“I got a standing ovation, two people cried, and the bar staff hugged me. Best decision I made – after saying yes to being best man.”

Whichever route you choose, remember the golden rule: be funny, be kind, and be you.