(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)
‘(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our eulogy writing service or our eulogy template.)
(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
But here’s the truth – you can acknowledge a loved one’s absence without making your speech unbearably sad. In fact, done right, your tribute can be one of the most touching and uplifting moments of the day.
At Speechy, we’ve helped hundreds of couples find the words. And we know the key is this: find a way to remember them with a smile. Here’s how.
If the loved one you’re missing was especially close or recently passed, consider honouring them before the big day. This gives you space to process your emotions and celebrate their memory more fully.
You could:
This personal time to wallow in grief and joy means you’ll feel more grounded and composed on the wedding day.
Think about how you can represent your loved one throughout the day in subtle, beautiful ways that make people smile.
You could also include a line in your order of service. Something like:
“James and Victoria are so pleased you could join them in this special place on this special day. Of course, there are some very special people who can’t be with us today but Vicky’s father is certainly in our hearts and we’re sure he will be looking down on us today and joining in the fun.”
Avoid sombre notes. Instead, aim for warm, gentle joy.
Another idea? Display a framed photo on the gift table or create a small memory corner. Add their favourite quote or a token item – like their favourite hat, or book – to spark conversation and fond stories.
Charitable favours are another beautiful way to pay tribute to the dearly departed. A small donation in memory of your loved one is a powerful way to honour their legacy.
Check out these ideas: 15 Charitable Wedding Favours
Yes, you can include a tribute in your speech. But be strategic about it.
For example:
“Dad would have loved today. He’d have worn the worst tie imaginable, flirted with all my friends, and cried more than Mum. We miss him, but we know he’s here somewhere, probably heckling us from the afterlife.”
If you feel yourself about to cry, look up. Seriously. Apparently it’s almost impossible to cry when you’re looking upwards. Try it.
Of course, if you do cry, no one will judge you.
Some couples light a candle at the ceremony. Others reserve a seat at the wedding breakfast with a name card and photo. None of it needs to be grand – just thoughtful.
We loved this article from Vanity Fair outlining how Prince William and Kate paid tribute to Princess Diana on their wedding day. Some really inspiring and thoughtful ideas. And here’s how Harry and Meghan paid tribute to Diana on their day.
When it comes to paying a loving tribute to the dearly departed, sometimes, someone else has already found the perfect words.
Here are a few quotes we love:
“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” -Thomas Campbell
“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” -Helen Keller
“Grief is the price we pay for love.” -Queen Elizabeth II
“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.”
“Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day.”
Find more meaningful quotes at BrainyQuote – Loss and Goodreads – Grief Quotes.
A tribute doesn’t have to be poetic or profound. It just has to be true to you.
If you’re someone who usually cracks jokes to cope, include a light-hearted line. If you’re more sentimental, speak from the heart. Either way, keep your tone warm and human.
Remember, the goal isn’t to make everyone cry – it’s to remind them how loved that person was, and how they’re still part of the celebration.
Including a tribute to the dearly departed in your wedding speech is powerful but saying the words out loud can feel overwhelming.
One of the best ways to stay composed is to practise your speech so thoroughly that you’re not fully processing the emotional weight of the words in the moment. It sounds strange, but it works.
Think of it like an actor performing a well-rehearsed scene – the emotion is real, but the delivery is controlled.
Rehearse often – and early. Read your speech out loud multiple times. The more familiar you are with the tribute, the more automatic the delivery will feel.
Practise in front of someone. Choose someone you trust. If you can deliver it to them without getting choked up, you’re on the right track.
Record yourself. Watching the playback helps you notice emotional peaks and decide where you need to slow down or breathe.
Use lightness to help you through. Even a small smile or gentle line before or after the tribute can give you emotional breathing room.
Heidi, Speechy’s founder, always says:
“You want to feel it, but not fall apart. That means rehearsing the words until they become second nature – then saying them with calm, collected sincerity.”
If you’re worried about crying, that’s okay. Just pause, breathe, and carry on.
A few tears are human and heartfelt – just try not to let them derail the rest of your speech.
At weddings, it’s normal to think of those who aren’t there. But the best tributes don’t weigh down the room. They lift it.
Remember your loved one with humour, affection, and a touch of creativity. It’s the best way to keep them close, while still making your speech a joyful celebration.
And if you need help crafting your words, Speechy’s wedding speechwriting services can help you get the tone and structure exactly right.
The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.
Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.
