(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)
‘(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our eulogy writing service or our eulogy template.)
(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
Once the Speechy team helps clients write (and possibly prepare to deliver) their wedding speech, the brides and grooms we work with often ask when they should schedule the toasts into the day. Before the wedding meal? After
WORLDWIDE TRADITIONS
In the US, speeches are just as common at the rehearsal dinner (the formal dinner prior to the wedding that the ‘top table’ are invited to) as the wedding day itself.
Meanwhile, in Scandinavian countries, there is often an invite for everyone to propose a toast at any point during the wedding dinner.
At many British weddings, the speeches are scheduled before the wedding meal; the idea is that everyone is officially welcomed to the wedding and the speakers are quickly able to relax (and tuck into the free wine!).
Of course, some couples opt for speeches after the wedding meal (or before the dessert), once everyone has eaten and had a chance to chat and drink. As a speaker, there’s certainly something to be said for your guests having had a bit of laughter-lubricant. Equally, you may find people are more likely to be rowdy so be prepared for some good-natured heckling.
NEW IDEAS
An increasingly popular idea is separating your speeches so they’re spread between courses. This works particularly well if you’re having more than 3 speakers.
For example…
Of course, if you’re having a wedding weekend, you have more time to play with…
The benefit of having the speeches spaced out is that there’s less chance of the guests getting bored with the stand up, sit down routine of too many toasts one after the other. It’s also less likely that the speeches feel repetitive or overly lengthy.
However, as wedding influencer and Hitched Editor, Zoe Burke, points out, wedding photographers and catering staff can struggle with spread-out speeches as they make the day’s timings complicated.
‘I put a post out encouraging our Hitched nearlyweds to consider scheduling their speeches a bit differently and I got loads of DMs back from venues and photographers saying, please, stop recommending it! I’m still a fan but couples should definitely brief their suppliers in advance of the day so they’re fully prepared for the challenge.’
From personal experience, several of the Speechy team know it’s possible to schedule speeches between courses, but it is important to give realistic estimates of the speech duration. Here’s what some other wedding influencers had to say about scheduling…
‘I like it when the speeches come after the main course and before dessert as it means no one is left starving for too long.I remember going to a wedding where the speeches were before the food. Unfortunately, the speeches went on for an hour and a quarter, and what was even worse is I could smell the beef Wellington getting slowly killed in the kitchen. By the time it was served, everyone was famished and hammered, and the meal was close to ruined!’
Alison Hargreaves, Founder of Guides for Brides
‘The newlyweds might actually give a couple of speeches over the course of the celebration. The speeches at the rehearsal dinners are generally always great as it’s a more intimate audience and their speech on the wedding day might feel very different.’
Anna Price Olsen, Wedding Expert & Founder Editor of Brides
Ultimately, there’s no right and wrong. Speechy is a big fan of breaking up the speeches but, as you can see, not everyone agrees!
Schedule your speeches so they complement your day as a whole.
The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.
Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.
