Your wedding day is here and after the ceremony is done it’s time for the main event – your speech. Where you tell everyone just how amazing your fella is.
But really, no one can talk about their husband for over three minutes totally seriously. There has to some joke in there. It’s just science (probably).
Do not fear! As far as Speechy are concerned, the funnier a speech is, the better it is.
That is as long as you follow the below tips for the funniest possible bride speech.
Bride speeches don’t tend to be as sullied by this as the men’s do, but there are some jokes we have ALL heard a million times before.
A Googled joke, or a joke recycled from another wedding you’ve been to is never a good idea. Sure they’re easy, sometimes even a little bit funny. But, basically, they’re cheating. And no wedding gets off to a decent start by cheating.
So avoid search engines at all cost! You want to have your audience laughing their heads off, not groaning. And we all know you can do so much better. Especially by following the next step.
The best wedding speeches don’t rely on tired jokes or recycled cliches. They dish the truth.
By the end of it, we’ve laughed at some classic stories we’d forgotten, realised a lot of things we never knew other people had noticed and learned something new (hopefully something embarrassing).
No matter how many generic wedding gags you read, you’ll never find one as funny as the time your husband got his toe stuck in the bath on your first holiday abroad. Or how he cried the first time he watched Pretty Woman with you.
These things are funny because they ACTUALLY happened. So grab a pen and pad and make a note of all the great stories and anecdotes you can remember about them. Get his mates involved if you want. There’ll always be something you forgot about.
Then move onto his little characteristics. What makes him angry? What’s his favourite curry? How many times has he watched Pretty Woman since?
Turn your husband into a comedy character. You’re writing the sitcom of Kevin, or Joe. And for everyone to tune in (i.e. Not zone out and crack open another bottle of wine), you’re going to want to make it memorable.
Finished writing your memoirs? Great! Now chuck half of it in the bin.
Well, don’t actually. But go through it all and decide which is gold and which is, perhaps, just fancy silver.
The more ruthless you are, the better your speech will be. By honing in on the best stories, you’re getting rid of rambling ones, or ones which take a long time to explain. In doing so, you’re hopping from story to story, joke to joke, keeping the audience in stitches.
The punchier your speech is the better and doing the above will certainly help.
Also, word of warning, be wary of in-jokes. Yes, they might be hilarious to you and your groom, but there are another 78 people in the room.
Sure, the odd line is fine. Sweet even. But if they’re alienated for a good minute of the speech, they’ll switch off. And no one wants that to happen.
Check out more writing do’s and don’ts in our Bride Speech Advice page.
OK, so the speech is written and it’s 100% gold. Now, you’ve got to deliver it.
In the run-up to the wedding, spend as much time as you can practising the speech. I know you have a million other things to do, but you’ll thank me when you’re standing in front of everyone.
If you can, even practice it in front of a friend or family member and ask them for notes. It’ll turn a good speech into a great speech.
You don’t need to be ‘off-book’ when you deliver it. But it is a good idea to know the speech well enough just by using flashcards. That way you can focus on maintaining eye contact and really acting out your speech like you’re the new Katherine Ryan.
If you get nervous – and, believe me, we all do – just take a deep breath and slow your speech down. At the beginning of your speech especially. That way you won’t rush your jokes or ruin your carefully crafted punchlines.
And that’s it! Your speech will wow everyone, especially your husband. And although getting married is a pretty good thing to happen, getting some big belly laughs along the way is, arguably, better.
