It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day; let our crew smuggle some jokes into your wedding speech
You’ve got the booty (though you probably shouldn’t call her that) and you’re ready to get tide down (play along now)…
Suddenly you’re feeling all at sea; writing your wedding speech is giving you cabin fever, you’re at the end of your rope, and ‘poop deck’ has taken on a whole new meaning.
Don’t be a nervous wreck, our team of trusty comedy writers will ensure you won’t look like a plank. Follow our expert tips to write a speech your guests are shore to love…
Don’t Surf the Net
Believe us when we say there’s no fun in Googled gags or parroting jokes your granny’s heard a hundred times. Real-life stories will stave off mother-in-law’s resting beach face
Don’t Give in to Pier Pressure
You shouldn’t feel burdened with ‘being funny’. A few good anecdotes tied together with a buoyant theme will keep your narrative afloat
Don’t be Salty
If things haven’t gone swimmingly with your in-laws, now’s not the time for battleships. Admit you’ve grown to love them – it helps if there’s an element of truth but this isn’t essential.
Don’t get Ship-Faced
Being three sheets to the wind might work for Jack Sparrow, but in our experience too much booze never made any speech better. Drinking plenty of water will keep you anchored.
Don’t just say your new wife is a ‘beauty’ or your husband’s a ‘scallywag’ – keep friends and family captive with some juicy real-life titbits that they can recognise in each of you.
Not All Treasure is Silver and Gold
The real gems come from you and your fiancé’s life together. Just don’t go into too much detail about your first Jolly Roger…
Let the Experts do the Navigating
Our speeches aren’t pirated and, unlike wooden pegs and hooks, don’t cost an arm and a leg. Our templates will give landlubbers their sea legs in no time. If you’ve written something but aren’t sure if it passes muster, our review service will provide the overhaul it might need. For a speech to really treasure, you’ll want to invest in our unique bespoke service
We’re a team of BBC-trained scriptwriters turned speech specialists, helping nervous wedding speakers around the seven seas (alright, we’ll stop with the puns now)
There are 700,000 wedding speeches each year in the UK alone, and our clients reach worldwide. We’ve worked with FTSE 100 chief execs, Monte Carlo millionaires, TED talkers and truck drivers
Having worked on primetime TV and radio, we know how to make an audience laugh. Our bespoke service never resorts to recycled jokes or cut-and-pasted platitudes.