All wedding speeches should be funny. They can be sentimental and heartfelt but they’ve got to be funny too.
Of course, writing a witty, humorous speech isn’t about googling gags (bet you’ve already seen some stinkers). It’s actually about looking at the characters sitting at the Top Table and having a laugh with their unique ‘qualities’.
The Speechy team are all comedy writers by trade and have written for BBC shows like Have I Got News, Dead Ringers and the BAFTA-winning Horrible Histories. We also help people around the world write and deliver cracking wedding speeches. This is our Cheat’s Guide to Crafting Comedy.
(* Of course, if you already know you want more than advice, check out the products and services we offer. We’re rated ‘Excellent’ on Trustpilot for a reason.)
The definition of a joke is ‘a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter.’
This means your jokes shouldn’t make your guests groan. Guests don’t want to hear internet gags and the newly hitched deserve more than wedding clichés.
Avoid anything like …‘Wales is an unusual honeymoon destination but (groom) insisted he was going to Bangor for a fortnight.
Cringe. 1994 wants its jokes back.
Check out Hitched’s ‘Tried & Test Jokes for Best Men’ for more lines to AVOID. Generic wedding fodder shows you’re desperate.
A rule we stick to is, if you can cut and paste a joke into a speech about someone else, then you’ve got it wrong.
Humour should be unique, honest and insightful, not just some wedding-related pun. At no point hold up a slice of toast.
‘It’s funny because it’s true‘, so said Homer Simpson and probably some clever people we’re less familiar with.
Creating a memorable speech means thinking about the ready-made characters at the Top Table. People will laugh if you identify something that they’ve noticed (even subliminally) but never thought to articulate …The groom’s oddly disproportionate T-rex arms, the bride’s continuing devotion to UGGS, the newlywed’s mutual mannerisms (they both say OMG without any shame).
Pinpointing what makes the newlyweds unique (i.e. slightly odd) is key to making your wedding speech a proper tribute to them. It shows you actually care if you focus your humour on their true personalities (and not just caricatures of a bride or groom).
Do NOT make the mistake of talking about how much the bride loves shopping (unless she genuinely out-spends the Kardashians) or how terrible the groom is at opening his wallet (unless he actually comes out without one). This is clichéd-comedy at its worst. It’s not funny and it’s not fit for a modern wedding speech.
These rules apply whatever your role – best man to bride.
Whatever role you have – groom, father of the bride, best mate – you have to find a comedy focus.
The groom’s target could be himself, his bride or he could set up the notion of a traditional double act (straight bride vs daft husband).
A father of the bride might choose his ‘drama queen daughter’, the ‘hard-done father’ or the ‘dubious groom’ as the focus of his humour. You get the idea.
Some people reckon the bride should never be the comedic focus. They seem to think that as soon as a woman puts on a white dress she can only be told she’s beautiful & wonderful; a Beyonce / Mother Teresa hybrid.
We don’t agree. Just because a woman’s wearing her best knickers and has a ring on her finger doesn’t mean she’s lost her sense of humour.
The key is to keep the humour affectionate and loving. Of course, you should have a proper heartfelt tribute towards the end of your speech but feel free to have a laugh along the way.
The first thing we do when working with clients is ask them lots of questions. We ask the obvious ones (who’s marrying who and why) but we also ask some random ones too.
With grooms we might ask ‘what annoys you most about your bride-to-be’. It doesn’t sound like appropriate material to put in a wedding speech but actually it’s those sort of questions that often lead to great nuggets of content for us.
So, grab a bottle of (insert alcoholic beveridge of choice) and have a brainstorm. Write down everything that comes to mind when you think about the person you’re going to be talking about. The food they love. The tunes they like. Their claims to fame. Their questionable dress sense… Think about their standout qualities & the characteristics that define them. Is it their obsession with the gym, their bossiness, their lack of hair?
Get help if you need. Ask mates round. Ask relatives. Ask the bride if you’re the best man and she’s not giving a speech herself.
You need to load up your arsenal of humour before you can hope to fire out any cracking gags. There’s loads of ways of finding a laugh, here’s some techniques to test out…
Plagiarism isn’t allowed but quoting witty people is. Not only are you legitimately allowed to steal their laughs, but you also end up looking rather well read.
We’ve curated the best wedding quotes to use (i.e. the ones that aren’t too obviously ‘wedding-y’) so tuck in for inspiration…
Don’t say we’re not blooming good to you.
People relax once you’ve made them laugh so try to script a funny line within the first 20 seconds.
A good opener is something like ‘Can you believe it? (The Bride) has finally given up holding out for Ryan Gosling and decided a kebab-munching, golf-obsessed Project Manager from Basingstoke is a better option instead.’ Simple, but bespoke.
Of course, the opening is just the first hurdle. Your speech needs to be peppered with humour throughout. Even the ‘thank yous’ should raise a smile so make sure you script more than just the usual platitudes about your in-laws ‘passing down such wonderful traits to their daughter’. Yawn.
Keep your content pacey and your jokes short. If it’s impossible to sub down a lengthy anecdote then leave it for the bar later.
DO
DON’T
If you want to deliver a legendary speech, work with us. We’re professional comedy writers at the top of our game and we’re ‘excellent’ rated wedding speech writers on Trustpilot.
And, of course, in the world of Zoom, Whatsapp and Death Wish Coffee, we work with clients around the world.
We also offer a range of speech templates for various roles.
Give us a call if you want to find out more about how we work, the services we offer and our DELIGHT GUARANTEE.
We’re happy to give you 15 mins of our time with no obligation to work with us.
WhatsApp us, call Heidi on 07971 224 245, email hello@speechy.co.uk or request a callback. You can also check out our full range of Speech Templates here.
