As a certified grown-up, you’re expected to deliver a speech that’s a bit more than passable. After all, you no longer have the cute factor as a distraction when you’re 30.
A son of the groom speech is an opportunity to pay a fitting tribute to your dad as he cements his new-found happiness. It’s also your chance to give him the ultimate roast.
You’re essentially taking on the role of best man, but maybe with added sentimentality owing to your unique father-son bond. Who else can share socks and shaving foam, and look exactly the same on a Snapchat Face-Swap?
If you’re overwhelmed at the thought of putting a lifetime of wine gums gifts and Star Wars cinema trips into a speech, look at how others describe fatherhood:
- Steve Martin joked that ‘A father carries pictures of his kids where his money used to be’.
- Mark Ruffalo admitted, ‘If you’re not yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them’.
- Send your dad up by quoting Jerry Seinfeld: ‘You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out’.
- Or, if the cap fits, make the audience chuckle with this quote by Dave Attell: ‘When you’re young you think your dad is Superman, Then you grow up, and you realise he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape’.
If you’re first on the speaker line-up, you’ll be expected to welcome the guests, but keep it brief to avoid stealing your dad’s thunder. Your job is simply to warm everyone up with some laughter and then tack on some sweet stuff about him being a good role model towards the end – you can make this bit as irreverent as you like.
It’s important to get the balance right between paying a fitting tribute to your dad and remembering to officially welcome his new wife to the family – this can be comically adjusted if they’ve already been together for years and years.
You know your dad better than most people, so you’re well placed to give the bride advice on how to successfully co-habit with him (e.g. don’t try and change TV channels when you think he’s fallen asleep – he may be snoring with his eyes closed, but he’s still ‘watching it’).