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Brother of the Bride Speech

Brother of the Bride Speech

There are many reasons the brother of the bride may be asked to give a speech on his sister's big day. Perhaps your father isn’t comfortable with public speaking, or maybe he's passed away. Maybe he isn't invited to the wedding, or perhaps your sister just thinks you're blooming funny and will add an awesome moment to the day. Whatever the case, Speechy has all the advice you need to nail it...

(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)

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STEP 1 – GATHER YOUR INTEL

We know planning isn’t usually anyone’s idea of fun, but your sister deserves better than you just winging it. It’s time to start gathering the evidence… 

  • Head back to the family home and hunt out childhood mementos that might trigger more memories- her childhood diary, report cards, any old attempts at ‘artwork’.
  • Get together with other family members, other siblings and friends, and bolster your list with stories you’ve forgotten, or maybe never even heard!
  • Obviously, do some comprehensive social scrolling. 

Considering you know your sister pretty well, this might all seem a bit OTT but honestly, sometimes our brains need a few prompts to get the best nuggets of content to work with.

Great stories and anecdotes are at the heart of every great speech. Only when you have enough stories to fill a Pukka Pad, should you proceed to Step 2.

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STEP 2 – DECIDE WHAT SORT OF SPEECH YOU’RE GIVING

Brother of the bride speeches aren’t overly common but if your speech is in place of the father of the bride speech it‘s worth reading our Father Of The Bride Speech Advice. Or, if you’re speaking in addition to your dad and effectively doing a Friend of the Bride speech, read our Best Man Advice (though maybe tone down the roasting element and up the sentiment!).

Assuming you’re standing in for the father, your job is firstly to welcome everyone to the wedding.

If your dad has passed away, you’ll want to mention his absence and how proud he would have been watching his daughter get married. Inevitably, this will be an emotional part of the speech but don’t turn it into a eulogy. Think about the ways you can mention your dad and bring a smile to people’s faces; whether it’s reminding them of his dad-dancing or his ability to say exactly the wrong thing at every opportunity.

However you choose to honour him, we advise leaving this to the latter part of your speech. So many speakers make the mistake of mentioning loved ones who have passed away early in the speech but this can be hard to move on from this, especially if you or your sister feel emotional. Read our dearly departed blog to get more ideas on how to handle this. 

Whether or not you’re standing in for your dad, your role is to pay a touching and fun tribute to your sister.

You also have to pay tribute to your sister’s choice of partner. You can affectionately tease them if you have that sort of relationship, but make sure you sound sincere in your endorsement of them (yes, even if you have your doubts!).

If you’re the only person from your side of the family speaking then make sure you also convey your excitement at the prospect of getting to know your new (extended) in-laws too.

STEP 3 – STRUCTURE THOSE STORIES

You have the privilege of knowing the bride as a youngster as well as an adult, so you already have a head start on the other wedding speakers. You can provide new insights and a few revelations!

Start off by revealing a bit about the bride’s character as a youngster. It helps if her personality traits as a child give an indication of the woman she might become, for example, was she overly competitive even as a four-year-old, or was her messiness evident from her bedroom as a teen?

As siblings, this is also an opportunity to thank your parents for your upbringing, or alternatively, tease them about it. Were they wonderful role-models or did they clearly have a favourite? Up to you how you play it.

Once you’ve covered the youngster-era, progress to your sister’s adult years and how your relationship has evolved through the years. Include a humorous anecdote if you can but also ‘confess’ to how much you love and respect your sister.

You can then move on to your (initial skepticism maybe and then…) joy when she met her soulmate. Include an anecdote related to them and your growing bond.

Finally, conclude your speech with some light-hearted advice on how your sister’s spouse can handle them in the future (‘tidy up after her and never win at Scrabble’?) before delivering a sincere and positive hope for their future life together.

Conclude with a toast to the happy couple.

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STEP 4 – MAKE SURE YOU MEASURE UP

Before you begin the writing process, discuss the ideal length of your speech with your sister. As a general rule, we’d recommend aiming for a speech that’s between five and nine minutes – or 800 to 1,200 words.

Remember, no one ever wanted a speech to be longer. In fact, once you write your first draft, a good challenge is to try to edit it down by a third. Generally, it will make your speech much stronger. Punchy is always better.

In advance of the day, confirm whether or not an MC will be introducing you. If not, you will have to explain who you are at the start of your speech.

It’s also helpful to know whether you’ll be given a mic. If so, you might want to practise your mic-technique in advance (though don’t worry, it’s not rocket science!).

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STEP 5 – PREPARE TO DELIVER

Nobody likes homework. But practicing will reap great rewards. You don’t need to know your speech off by heart, but the better you know it, the more natural you can be on the day.

It’s fine to use notes on the day, and we still recommend old-school paper rather than using tech. (We’ve been programmed to resent people reading their phones or iPads in our presence and it’s more likely you’ll F it up if you’re using tech by scrolling too far or clicking on WhatsApp accidentally).

The most important thing to remember is to look like you’re enjoying it. A smile is literally infectious, so abuse that fact! Laugh at your own jokes, pause when you hear laughter and interact with your audience.

Make this a moment to remember, for all the right reasons!

The Speechwriting Experts

The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.

Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.

Heidi and the Speechy Team

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''I had an unbelievable experience working with Speechy. From the moment I got in touch with them I felt supported and come the day of my best mans speech, it went down a storm with a standing ovation.''
''Speechy deserves more than 5 stars. (They) produced a factual, funny Mother of the Bride speech with just the right amount of emotion..... it was ingenious. Thank you so much for the wonderful & priceless memory of having delivered my speech at my daughter’s wedding and nailed it ... and got a standing ovation too. My children were very proud of me, including my new son-in-law! ''
''These Guys are tremendous! One main point is that its not their speech - its yours! This is because it is based totally around what you would like to say, but its the spin that Speechy puts on it, that is the magical bit... Ordinary words become a hilariously entertaining event. There were giggles, applauds, laughs, tears, cheers and standing ovation – all in that order!''
''Feeling anxious or stressed about an upcoming speech? Look no further than Speechy... I just delivered my Best Man speech this past weekend and absolutely crushed it. I was nervous leading up to the moment, but while delivering my speech, I didn't want the experience to end, the room was hooked, and laughing at every joke. Worth every penny... Thank you!''
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