Father Of The Bride Speech Challenges (Like, When You Don’t Like The Groom)

Writing a wedding speech is always a big deal but for some dads, the challenge goes way beyond writer’s block. From complex family dynamics to uncomfortable emotions, delivering the father of the bride speech can feel like navigating a social minefield.

But don’t panic. As Heidi Ellert-McDermott, founder of Speechy and author of The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches, says, “We’ve worked with hundreds of dads facing all kinds of complications. There’s always a way to write a brilliant speech that’s honest, heartfelt and drama-free.”

Here’s a quick overview of the most common speech challenges:

• When you don’t like the groom
• When you’re divorced from the bride’s mum
• When there’s a stepdad
• When you’re the stepdad
• When there’s been a recent death or tragedy
• When you’re not a natural speaker
• Other sensitive topics

Now let’s look at how to tackle each of these in more detail…

1. Father of the Bride Speech When You Don’t Like the Groom

Let’s be honest. Sometimes the man your daughter loves isn’t your favourite person. But your job as father of the bride isn’t to share doubts-it’s to show love.

Heidi says: “Your daughter will remember your speech forever. The last thing you want is for it to cause hurt. Find the positives. Even if it’s just that he makes her laugh or supports her ambitions.”

Example lines:

• “I always hoped my daughter would marry someone who challenges her. Well, she certainly found someone with different opinions on just about everything. But love, they say, is about embracing difference and these two clearly work.”
• “We may not have bonded over football or whisky, but I see how happy he makes her and that matters more than anything else.”
• “She didn’t end up with someone like me which, let’s be honest, is probably for the best. She found someone who brings a whole different energy to her life, and together they just work.”

2. When You’re Divorced from the Bride’s Mum

If you’re divorced, your speech needs careful tone management. Acknowledge your co-parent with warmth, but don’t go into detail.

If it’s amicable: *”Of course, I must thank my daughter’s mum, who’s also done so much to raise the incredible woman we’re celebrating today.”

If it’s less so: *”It’s a testament to how loved [bride’s name] is that her whole family is here today to celebrate.”

More examples:

• “Whatever our differences, one thing we’ve always shared is pride in the incredible woman [Bride] has become.”
• “Families aren’t always straightforward but today is proof that love brings people together.”

3. When There’s a Stepdad

If your daughter has a stepdad she’s close to, ignoring him is a mistake. But the key is to acknowledge him respectfully without undermining your own role.

Example lines:

• “[Stepdad’s name] has been part of [Bride’s name]’s life for a long time, and I know how grateful she is for his support. Families come in all shapes these days, and today I’m proud to share this day with someone who cares so deeply for her.”
• “I’m grateful she’s had not just one dad, but two men who love and support her unconditionally.”
• “It takes a real man to step into a child’s life and help shape the amazing woman we see today.”

4. When You’re the Stepdad

If you’re the one giving the speech as stepdad, your speech is about your bond-not your biological credentials. Be honest and affectionate.

Heidi says: “Don’t try to sound like a replacement. Celebrate your unique relationship.”

Example lines:

• “I may not have been there for [Bride’s name]’s first bike ride or nativity play, but I’ve been lucky enough to be there for so many of the amazing moments since. Today is the ultimate one.”
• “Being a stepdad has been the most unexpected joy of my life, and watching [Bride] grow into the incredible woman she is today has been a privilege.”
• “I didn’t give her the gift of life but life gave me the gift of her.”

5. Father of the Bride Speech When There’s Been a Recent Death

Acknowledge the absence but keep it light enough to stay celebratory.

Heidi says: “You can be emotional without derailing the mood. It’s okay to pause, take a breath and speak simply.”

Example lines:

• “Of course, today we’re thinking of [Name], who we know would have been so proud to be here. We carry them with us in our hearts today.”
• “[Name] is not here in person, but I know their spirit is in every laugh and every hug today.”
• “It’s hard not having [Name] with us today—but I like to think they’re watching from above, quietly judging the catering.”

If it’s very recent or raw, you can suggest a private tribute later in the evening.

Check out our advice on how to pay tribute to the dearly departed.

6. When You’re Not a Natural Speaker

You don’t have to be a performer to deliver a good speech. But you do need to plan.

Example openings:

• “I’ve been dreading this moment. Not because I don’t want to speak—but because I want to do my daughter justice. And after a lot of drafts, advice, and the odd whisky, I think I’m ready.”
• “Public speaking isn’t my thing. But loving my daughter? That comes easy. So here goes.”
• “I’m a man of few words. Unfortunately, none of those words were helpful when I sat down to write this.”

Practice your speech aloud. Ask a friend to listen and give feedback.

Check out our Delivery Advice or consider using Speechy Delivery Coaching if you want extra help with nerves and performance.

Ad Libs If You Fluff a Line (No Brand Mentions)

• “That line made a lot more sense in my head—promise.”
• “If anyone’s recording this, please delete that bit.”
• “Well, that sounded much better in front of the bathroom mirror.”
• “I had one job… and I might need a do-over already.”
• “Let’s pretend that bit was hilarious and move on, shall we?”

Challenging Father of the Bride Speech – Final Thought

Every father of the bride speech has its own set of challenges. But they’re not insurmountable.

As Heidi says: “We help dads navigate messy feelings and tricky topics every day. Whether you’re writing solo or want support from our team, the aim is always the same: to celebrate your daughter with love, humour and authenticity.”

Explore our Father of the Bride Services to find the right support for you.