(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)
‘(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our eulogy writing service or our eulogy template.)
(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
As if writing a great speech isn’t enough of an achievement, guess what? Now you’ve got to read the thing out.
Now, we can’t deny that you do look pretty awesome if you manage to memorise your speech and perform it ‘off-book’. This allows you to focus on the delivery, maintain eye contact and generally entertain your adoring masses.
But, we cannot emphasise this enough; it is more than acceptable to use notes or cue cards when reading your wedding speech in front of an audience. This isn’t the West End. No one cares if you use notes and there are lots of tips for using them effectively in our Cue Card Guide.
Still, if you do opt for notes, you still have to be familiar with the flow of your speech. On the day, you should feel so comfortable with it, it should feel like a song, something you can automatically knock out with only a few glances thrown towards your notes. You should only be referring to your notes rather than reading it word for word.
So how the hell do you get to that point?
It’s hardly revolutionary, but if you want the speech to get stuck in your head, keep reading it out loud to anyone who’ll listen: your mum, your best friend, even your cat. Anyone will do. Experts say vocalising something gives us up to 10% better memory retention.
No one around? Then record the speech on a phone and watch it back as much as you can. Yes, you’ll have to put up with your own voice, but it’ll be worth it. Make your speech your soundtrack leading up to the big day. Listen to it on your commute, recite it in the shower, read it before going to bed. Get to the point you’re are bored by it.
Write your speech out again and again. We tend to memorise things better when keeping active, so the act of writing it out repeatedly will help it stick.
Typing doesn’t seem to be as effective as going old-school and writing it out by hand.
In the fortnight leading up to the wedding, rehearse your speech a couple of times just before going to bed each night. Oddly, neuroscientists have revealed sleep helps consolidate newly acquired information.
The night before the wedding try to have a good night’s sleep. Our brain performs better with rest, and you’ll appreciate avoiding the bar the next day when you’re up dancing till midnight.
When practising your speech, don’t beat yourself up if you miss the odd word. You don’t have to recite it word correctly! Speeches sound better when they seem less rehearsed and more ad-libbed (even when they’ve been rehearsed a thousand times!). Remember, no one can see your notes and no one knows the exact words you’ve written.
Don’t forget, memorising something is meant to be hard. No one enjoys doing it but the more you put into it, the easier it will get.
Of course, even if you’ve been able to deliver the speech 100 times perfectly, doing it in front of a big audience is an entirely different matter. Even when we work with people who regularly deliver business presentations, we advise them to have backup notes.
The more confident you feel the more confident everyone else will feel. So how do you do that? Well, firstly, you don’t have to imagine everyone naked (I mean if you really want to, go ahead, I can’t stop you).
Instead –
Focus on making your audience laugh and trying to move them, as opposed to thinking about yourself. Imagine yourself as a teacher telling a story to pre-schoolers; lose your inhibitions and concentrate on the story you have to tell.
Whether it’s due to nerves or not, if you have a memory lapse, your trusty glass of water can help. Just have a sip, and you’ve bought yourself a couple of seconds to get your plan back together.
Silence is terrifying for an audience, so try to fill it. Remember no one else knows what you were planning on saying so you can make anything up!
You can either retrace your steps and summarise the point you just made – or try to think of something relevant to your speech even if it wasn’t what you were planning to say.
Your mind will subconsciously start searching for good content. Who knows, you may even say something better than you intended!
Losing your train of thought is not a sign of failure. Think of it like a conversation with a friend – if you draw a blank, it doesn’t matter, does it? This is precisely the same. Except it’s a conversation with a hundred-odd friends!
As long as you brush off your lapse with confidence, then you’ll still look like a pro – maybe even a more likable one. Much like comedians can get as much of a laugh acknowledging their joke didn’t go as planned, have a line to hand, e.g. ‘Oops – I’ve forgotten what I was about to say. I hate it when that happens. Though my husband seems to like it.’
Get the audience laughing and you’ll be forgiven any memory lapse!
The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.
Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.
