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Lesbian Bride Speech

Bride Speech Advice;
For Girls Who Love Girls

How to write a great bride speech without resorting to cliches, predictable jokes & old fashioned etiquette? 

The Speechy team are TV scriptwriters by trade and now, we use our storytelling skills to helping people write amazing wedding speeches. Our advice has featured everywhere from The New York Times to Rock n Roll Bride, & we’ve written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’. 

After working with hundreds of same-sex couples around the world (and a few straight ones too), we know what works and what doesn’t when it comes to modern wedding speeches. And here’s the good news; we’re willing to tell you.*

*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our speech template (specifically designed for lesbian brides), speech edit service or our bespoke speech writing service. Or, work with our new AI-powered team member –SpeechyAI!  

lesbian wedding vows

Lesbian Bride Wedding Speech Etiquette

Don’t panic. These days, modern speech etiquette just comes down to common sense.  

Tailor your wedding speech style to fit the scene you’ve set.

Have you invited a lot of older relatives who expect a certain level of decorum or just a dozen of your amigos who want negroni on tap? Are you dressed traditionally or are you a Rock n Roll Bride (if you haven’t decided yet – these sites might help Dancing With Her, Equally Wed Hello May).

Whatever style of wedding you opt for, make sure your speech reflects it. No need to address everyone as ‘Ladies and gentlemen’ if you’re partying on a beach and there’s no ‘ladies’ in attendance!” 

gay womans wedding speech

1 - So, who's going to give a speech?

First things first. How are you and your bride going to divide speech duty? Is just one of you addressing your guests (though it seems like a missed opportunity) or do you both want to deliver a speech? Another option is giving a joint speech (we LOVE em!), and you can find out more about joint speeches here.

Let’s assume you’re both delivering speeches; make sure you’re not doubling up on the thanks or the stories. Sure, you’ll each want to thank both sets of parents, but only one of you gets to tell the story about when you boht got locked in that bar.

If you’re giving two separate speeches, think carefully about how you’re going to schedule them. One after the other, or (our preferred option), one before the meal, and one after. That way, each speech gets it’s chance to shine, and for you each to focus on the other’s speech (without being distracted thinking about your own).  

wedding speeches maid of honour writer

2 - What's a good bride speech structure?

The Speechy team recommend… 

  • Hello and welcome
  • The Rom-com stories – Anecdotes, stories and insights into your relationship and why it works
  • The thank yous
  • Acknowledgement of the dearly departed (if necessary)
  • Final romantic tribute to your wife
  • Toast

This structure may be different to many speeches you’ve heard. Lots of speakers start with the thank yous but, as important as they may be, they are not what really interests your guests.

You need to start strong, and that’s with good storytelling. Kick-off with the humour and end with the heartfelt, sentimental content. 

(Our Lesbian Speech Template includes a choice of three speeches that each use this structure but are very different from each other. You just need to pick you favourite and personalise. A great way to kick-start your speechwriting!)

lesbian bride speech uk

3 - Who should a newlywed thank?

Here’re the people you may want to thank…

  • everyone for coming
  • your parents
  • your in-laws
  • your wedding side-kicks – for example, bridesmaids or any friends who have gone beyond the call of duty in helping you plan the day

There may be others you want to mention (children or your partner already have?) but resist the urge to read out half the guest list. Nothing kills off a speech quicker than a tedious thank you list.

Do NOT bother individually thanking 

  • everyone who has travelled far 
  • anyone you’ve paid (a online review would be preferable) 

 

same sex lesbian wedding speech

4 - How does a bride pay tribute to the dearly departed?

How you handle the loss of a loved one very much depends on how raw the emotions are. And, even if you think you ‘have things under control’, a wedding can heighten or even reignite a sense of grief. Prepare for that.

1 – PAY A TRIBUTE TO YOUR LOVED ONES BEFORE THE WEDDING

If the person in question is a close relative or has died recently, pay a more substantial tribute to them in the week leading up to the wedding. This could be over a dinner with friends and family, or it could just be a more casual visit to a place that meant something to you both.

This is a time to reflect on your favourite memories of them as well as imagine what they would have loved about your wedding day. Here, tears can flow, meaning on the day, your loved one’s absence won’t feel quite so alien.

2 – BE CREATIVE

On the actual day, think of nice touches that guests will associate with the person you love. For example…

  • Could your favours be pots of homemade jam made using your beloved gran’s secret recipe?
  • Could your guests join you in a toast to your father by drinking his favourite malt?
  • Could the tables be decorated with forget-me-nots in honour of your friend?

Rather than sombre or sad, be creative and considerate.

3 – THOUGHTFUL FAVOURS

More charities are giving couples the chance to donate to them by purchasing wedding favours. Guests are presented with a simple card on their table, showing your support for the cause. 

It’s a great way to remember a loved one in a truly meaningful way.

4 – SCHEDULE THE TEARS FOR LATER IN THE SPEECH 

Don’t let your speech turn into a eulogy. 

Lots of speakers make the mistake of mentioning absent friends and family too early in the speech, making it hard to change gear and move on to the more celebratory and humorous content.

By positioning your tribute towards the end of your speech, you also ensure you don’t get choked up too soon.

We advise raising a toast to your loved one after the thank yous. For example, here’s a toast you could propose in honour of an absent loved one… 

‘Of course there’s someone who’s missing today and that’s my dad. He never got to meet Sophie but I know he would have loved her.

I can only hope I’ve learnt from the best when it comes to being a good partner.

He showed me the value of honesty, patience and respecting your partner’s point of view, even when it’s wildly different to your own.

Most of all, he taught me how important it is to laugh and, with Sophie by my side, that’s something I hope to do every day for the rest of my life.

So here’s to my wonderful father… To Martin.’

5 - Who should a bride toast?

The Speechy team recommend directing your concluding toast to your bride and your future life together. It should summarise the themes in your speech and can be as romantic, sweet or humorous as you wish.

Here’s some bride toast inspo… 

ROMANTIC BRIDE TOASTS

  • “In the journey of life, I am so grateful to have you by my side. To my beautiful wife, thank you for being my rock, my love, and my greatest supporter. May our days be filled with love, and our nights be filled with sweet dreams. Cheers to us!”
  • “In the dance of life, you are my perfect partner. Today, as we celebrate our love, I raise a toast to the countless moments we’ve shared and the countless more we have yet to create. To us and our forever love.”

SWEET BRIDE TOASTS

  • “To the woman who stole my heart and refuses to give it back. I guess I’ll just have to settle for stealing your fries for the rest of our lives. Here’s to a lifetime of love, laughter, and sharing snacks.”
  • “To the one who knows all my quirks and loves me anyway. They say love is blind, but you’ve seen me in my morning-hair glory and still said ‘I do.’ Here’s to a lifetime of embracing each other’s weirdness!”

HUMOROUS BRIDE TOASTS 

  • “To my partner in crime, my accomplice in laughter, and the one who never judges my questionable dance moves. May our love be as timeless as your ability to tolerate my dance floor disasters. Cheers to us!”
  • “Here’s to the woman who not only stole my heart but also my Netflix password. I guess I’m stuck with you now. Let the binge-watching and endless laughter begin—forever!”

 

bride speech at a same sex wedding

How to Write & Deliver a Great Lesbian Bride Speech

Don’t wait for divine inspiration to hit before sitting down to start your speech. It rarely does.  

And don’t put off starting until you ‘have enough time’. You rarely do! 

The trick to starting your speech is to view as it as series of mini-challenges, rather than writing a great speech in one hit.

Whenever you have a spare 15 minutes to think, think about… 

  1. The people you want to thank 
  2. The stories you want to tell 
  3. How to pay tribute to your bride without resorting to cliches 

Then, when you come to writing your speech, you already have strong building blocks to work with and it feels like a less intimidating challenge. 

Ditch the usual, old meaningless cliches and jump straight into getting a laugh. 

Here’s some inspiration on fun and fresh bride speech opening lines… 

  • ‘Hello, fantastic people! Today, [spouse’s name] and I have officially upgraded our relationship status from ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘In a Forever-Deal-With-It’ situation.
  • “Good evening, lovers and laughers! Today, I’m not just gaining a wife; I’m gaining a permanent audience for my bad jokes.”
  • “Good evening, everyone! So, they say love is like a rollercoaster, and today, I find myself at the very top of the ride, holding on to my wife for dear life. Buckle up, folks; this is going to be one heck of a journey!”
  • ‘Hello, world-changers! Today, [spouse’s name] and I embark on a journey filled with love, laughter, and a joint bank account. Pray for us.’

Right, this is the important bit. Your speech should tell a story.

Neuroscientists have discovered that our brains light up when we hear stories. When people hear an engaging anecdote, they put themselves in your shoes and that process forms a deeper connection. Just like that.

A story doesn’t need to be long. It doesn’t need to be extraordinary. It just has to reveal something about you as a couple.

  • ‘Remember, you don’t need to list everything you’ve ever done. This is not an obituary.

    Ultimately all you need is 3 good stories. Actually even one really great one can make a speech fantastic.’ Kat Williams, Rock n Roll Bride

STORY DON’Ts

Don’t bother with…

  • The proposal story – This is only interesting if it went wrong in some way. Detailing the romantic way you, or your partner, popped the question is generally predictable (it’s meant to be romantic) or seen as an attempt to show off.
  • Long or complicated stories – Generally (and there are exceptions), you need to be able to tell the story within about 100 words.

STORY DOs

Look for stories that…

  • Tell the audience something new about you, your partner or love (or at least offer a fresh look at one of your classic tales)
  • Provide insight into your relationship
  • Are funny or poignant and thought-provoking
  • Are easy to follow
  • Have a point. A good story needs a clear, central message that fits with the theme of the rest of the speech
 
(As a team of storytellers, our favourite part of working with clients, is helping them uncover their best stories. Check out our Bespoke Speech Service if you’d like us to help you discover your unique love story!)
 

‘To avoid clichés, don’t sit down and just think you’re going to type out some amazing poignant poetry. Instead watch your partner for a couple of days and take notes. What do you love about them?’ Anna Price Olsen, wedding influencer at Brides

The most powerful way to be romantic is finding the qualities and quirks that make your partner truly unique. The truth is, nearly all the clients we work with think their other half is gorgeous, kind and generally amazing. That’s the way marriage works.

To be genuinely romantic you have to hunt down the things that make your partner ‘them’. Are they a tech-fiend, a gym bunny, a library lover, or the world’s oldest Haribo addict? Rather than portraying them as some sort of idealistic love-god, relish who they actually are.

‘Sure, think about when and where the love affair started but talk about why and how was the bond formed. My partner said he knew I was the man for him when he saw me talk to topiary!’ Eduardo Braniff, Men’s Vows

A speech needs to be punchy, and increasingly so. Studies have shown that the global attention span is shrinking. 

Consequently, a twenty-minute speech, rarely works. Maybe a Pulitzer prize winner could pull it off but, really, why would you want to give yourself that challenge?

The ideal length of a bride’s wedding speech is generally between 1,000 and 1,300 words.

Most speakers talk at about 150 words per minute. This means, allowing for laughter and ad libs, a 1,300 speech will come in just less than ten minutes.

We work with some couples who are convinced they want to deliver a very short speech (‘three-minutes max’) and this poses as much of a challenge as a long speech.  People who want short speeches generally have just as much to say as everyone else.

You can make a point with very few words, but we’d worry if your word count is less 700 words and you’re also thanking friends and family.

While Speechy encourage all our clients to use notes on the day, we also stress the importance of memorising the speech (or, at least, ensuring the words are deep-rooted). 

On the day, you should only be using your notes to reference, rather than read from. It’s something you should be glancing at, not reading.  

Rehearse as often as you can. Memorise your speech until it bores you. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, surround yourself with it. As public speaking expert, Alan Berg suggests, record yourself reading it and listen to it repeatedly. On your commute, going to bed, whenever you can.

Studies have suggested a few extra techniques might help retention…

  • Write out the speech by hand (typing doesn’t count)
  • Read the speech out loud three times in succession
  • Recite the speech just before you go to bed
  • Try delivering the speech without notes. If you lose track, pick up where you left off and force yourself to carry on.

But, really, there’s no big secret to memorisation.

It’s just a case of speech, sleep, repeat. 

MIC UP

Make sure your guests will be able to hear you. 

Wireless handheld mics and loudspeakers are now easy to source and there’s plenty of sound specialists you can discuss your audio needs with. 

Ideally, practise with your sound system in advance to develop good microphone etiquette. When you speak into a handheld mic, you generally want to hold it about 15-20 cm from your mouth to avoid ‘popping’. And, once you find the right position, remember it!

As Alan Berg says ‘Novice speakers have a habit of forgetting the mic half way through their speech and dropping it down so their voice is no longer picked up. Or they get too expressive and start using the mic to anoint their audience like a priest would’.

PLAN YOUR POSITION 

Think about where each speaker will stand when they deliver their speech.

If it’s a small to average-sized wedding, people can simply stand and deliver from where they’re sat. If that’s the plan, make sure they’re seated somewhere where they can face all the guests and consider the logistics of using the mics if the speakers are not sat beside each other.

At larger weddings, you may want to ask speakers to deliver from a good viewing point. If so, consider investing in a lectern so speakers can use it for their notes. 

When it comes to your speech, make sure you’re near each other so you can interact throughout. As well as listening to your speech, your guests want to see your partner reacting to it to.

Show you’re a team; reassuring shoulder rubs, eye contact, pats on the back and a kiss at the end.

GET EXPERT FEEDBACK

If you want some presenting feedback and tips – check out our Delivery Coaching Service. One on one online coaching with Speechy’s Topdog, Heidi Ellert-McDermott 

The aim is to come across as eloquent, confident and conversational. You also want to look like you’re having fun.

A conversational style includes pauses.

A pause is essential when you expect laughter, and you should never talk over it once it lands. Speakers often move on from the joke too quickly and don’t give their audience a chance to react.

After each thank you, take a second to make eye contact and nod your head towards the person you’re addressing. After delivering a romantic line, take the time to look at your partner and smile. These moments can feel just as meaningful as the words themselves.

Body language is a biggie. As well as sounding relaxed, you need to look relaxed. An audience picks up body language cues. 

Smiles have been scientifically proven to be infectious. A smile puts your guests at ease and it will help relax you too.

Even a fake smile has a beneficial effect on your body. Yes, researchers have shown even a phoney smile makes you feel happier.

How To Add Humour To Your Bride Speech

Learning to be funny (or at least, funnier) is a useful life skill.

  • Humour lowers defences and makes your audience like you more (honestly, scientists far cleverer than us have proved it)
  • Humour has the same effect as learning something new does on the brain. It wakes up an audience and helps them remember the content of your speech.
  • Humour is a well-established ingratiation tactic. Laughter is a scientifically recognised social bonding juice.

Here’s how you can find your funny bone… 

wedding speech funny

We’re sure you wouldn’t dream of it – but please do NOT resort to Googled-gags. You know, the ‘classics’ like… 

‘Without all of you here today, it wouldn’t have been the same… but it would have been cheaper.’  

Cheesy wedding jokes or ‘ice-breakers’ won’t get your guests laughing; they’ll get them groaning! 

Being funny isn’t about finding good jokes on the internet but rather making witty observations about your relationship.

Conduct a courtship-autopsy; what are the weird relationship-rituals you’ve established over the years, what you argue about, how do you make each other laugh?

Question your behaviour, habits and unwritten rules. 

Okay, not everyone’s partners put sweet chilli sauce on their toast for breakfast but everyone can appreciate having a partner with weird habits. 

Check out our How to Be Funny Guide for the more humour-hacks. 

We spend about 200% of my working life exaggerating.

It’s an easy and effective to add humour to your speech. 

For example, if your new wife is rather loud and very talkative, you could say…

  • “They told me marriage would be a constant exchange of sweet nothings. Little did I know, my wife would be turning those ‘nothings’ into a full-fledged TED Talk every night!”

  • “I thought I was a good listener until I met my wife. Now, I consider myself an Olympic-level nodder.”

  • “They say opposites attract. In our case, I attracted a talking tornado, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!”

 

(If you’re looking for help with a few cracking one-liners, check out SpeechyAI. It’s honestly rather brilliant!) 

Wedding speech laughter

The callback is where you plant a story or a piece of info at the start of the speech, possibly as a throwaway line, and then reference it later on. 

Watch professional comedians on stage and you’ll see nearly all of them deploy the technique. It’s not only funny, it’s a technique that makes you look smart. Win-win. 

For example, share that story where you accidentally stapled your shoe to the floor when you renovated your first house together. Later, conclude your speech by saying ‘…I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, even if I do have to staple your shoes to the floor to make sure you’re by my side forever more.’

The callback is basically establishing an inside joke that everyone is part of.

To make it work

  1. Plant something funny, and crucially, memorable in the first third of your speech.
  2. Then simple refer to it towards the end of your speech.

Voila. You’ve become a comedy pro.

wedding speeches edit speech writing uk

Check out our lesbian bride speech videos blog to see how other grooms are adding humour to their speeches. 

Or check out our Bride Speech Services to see how the Speechy team can help you, including our  Bespoke Speech Writing Service

Speechwriting team wedding speeches bespoke service

Speech Do's

Make the thanks yous meaningful

Don’t just talk about what people have contributed to the wedding, thank them for what they’ve contributed to your life (even if it is just an appreciation on malt whiskeys). Keep each thank you less than 50 words.

Toast something meaningful

Ideally something that will make your bride and guests smile – maybe ‘a lifetime of dancing on tables’

Practise your speech and film it on your phone

Watch it back and spot where your speech can be improved.

Use quotes

If you’re struggling to find the right words, get inspo from others. Here’s our Bride’s Guide to Wedding Quotes. 

Speech Don'ts

Don't thank the caterers or the venue

It’s unnecessary.

Don't talk over laughter

You’ve worked hard for those laughs – don’t rush them. Always wait until your guests have settled down before continuing with your speech.

Don't be afraid to use cue cards

Try to memorise the speech but don’t be afraid to use notes on the day (your brain will be scrambled).

Don’t give gifts

If you’re planning on giving gifts, give them earlier in the day, so the process doesn’t disrupt the flow of your speech, & the guests aren’t tempted to start checking their WhatsApp.

Lesbian Bride Speech- Let us help you!

If you want to deliver a legendary speech, work with us.

We’re rated ‘excellent’ on Trustpilot and that’s why we offer a DELIGHT GUARANTEE on all our bespoke services.

And, of course, in the world of Zoom, Whatsapp and Death Wish Coffee, we work with brides around the world.

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