(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI.)
‘(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our eulogy writing service or our eulogy template.)
(Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out Speechy’s bespoke speechwriting service. We also have a range of excellent speech templates that might be just what you need.)
Because, put simply, it’s more personal and shows you care, not just about your partner, but your guests too! Bespoke vows create a special moment for everyone listening.
Much of a wedding can feel like it’s inspired by the same Pinterest board, but the words at your wedding, add the heart and personality to the day. The wedding ceremony is an hour of the day that shouldn’t be overlooked!
Unlike the wedding speeches that come later in the day, the wedding vows are allowed to be full-throttle hardcore romantic (without all the speech etiquette or thank yous getting in the way).
It’s also the first opportunity for your wedding guests to get a sense of your relationship in action and future intentions. Like a real-life rom-com, it’s an opportunity for couples to inject their day with a good dose of dopamine from the get-go.
Get a sense of what you want. Get googling wedding vow examples. Watch examples of wedding vows videos. Check out as many different types of vows as you can and note their style.
Are they romantic? Are they funny? Are they profound? Are they written entirely in Vulcan? Now decide which style suits you and your partner best.
Obviously, keep the details private and the specific loving lines a surprise to deliver on the day, but the key to writing your own wedding vows is that you actually work as a team. Your individual vows need to complement your partners. It always surprises us how often couples decide to write their wedding vows but assume they can’t discuss them in advance. You must!
Agree
Once you’ve agreed on the fundamentals, you can both then, hide away in your respective cupboards secretly writing your vows.
The crucial thing to remember is that your vows should complement each other’s.
In terms of structure, there are lots of options to consider…
Once you’ve found a style you both like, make sure you’re both signed up.
Beyond all the irritating nonsense you make your poor partner put up with (honestly, pants on the bathroom floor? You should be ashamed of yourself), write a list of all the things you love about your partner. The smaller the better. Sure, it’s OK to mention that you love how smart and kind they are, but really dive down into the minutiae.
Do you love how their nose wrinkles when they laugh? Do you love how they send you every Llama-related meme they come across? Do you love how they pretend to listen to Pink Floyd, but really Justin Bieber is top of all their Spotify playlists?
All these things tell your partner that you’re listening and you’re paying attention, all without feeling like you’ve just googled ‘Romantic guff to say at weddings’.
Of course, sometimes it really is hard to articulate the enormity of love and the depth of your feelings. Using quotes is a great way of utilising the minds of fantastic writers and philosophical thinkers without resorting to plagiarism. Check out our selection of Wedding Vow Quotes.
As the old saying goes “It’s not the size, it’s what you do with it”. Wedding vows are intended to be short, preferably a minute or two each. The anecdotes from your life will come later in the speeches, so keep the vows relatively concise.
A few sweet vows will not only be more memorable for your partner but also more enjoyable for your guests. The art is to keep everyone genuinely engaged instead of looking at their watches thinking “Why are they talking like Keats and what time does the bar open?”.
As a rough guide, your individual vows can be anything between 45 seconds and three minutes long depending on what style you’ve opted for.
Despite being about love and commitment, your vows don’t need to be stuffy, formal or gushing. Most couples in their day-to-day lives don’t talk like Wordsworth, so there’s no need to pretend to be like that now.
Be truthful, be specific, and avoid all the generic love cliches.
Saying “I stand before you today with a simple promise, a promise to stop eating soup so loudly” is infinitely more fun (and personal) than saying “Our love is like a gentle dove resting on the tender limb of a wandering willow”.
If you’re going to the effort of writing your own vows, make sure you resist the usual clichés that many couples resort to. You don’t want to sound like you’re reciting a Pinterest board. Most of those ‘love quotes’ are now so ubiquitous, they’re simply white noise.
This is the sort of meaningless quotes you want to avoid…
Yes, they may feel relevant to your relationship but they are relevant to nearly every relationship!
Instead, look at the reality and the unique characteristics of your bond.
For example…
You get the idea.
Make it specific. Make it true. Make it meaningful.
We offer a Bespoke Wedding Vows Service where a dedicated writer works with you to create your perfect vows.
The Speechy team are TV-trained scriptwriters/comedians by trade & we’ve helped 1,000s of speakers around the world deliver their dream speech.
Our advice has been quoted everywhere from The New York Times to Grazia and from Forbes to The Observer. Our founder has also featured on the BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, published by Little, Brown.
