Why Is The Mother Of The Groom Speech Special?
Traditionally, there’s not much for the groom to look forward to when it comes to the speeches. He has the pressure of delivering one but all he gets in return is comedic abuse from the best man. But why should it just be the bride’s parents who get to mark the wedding as one of life’s special moments?
Whatever the gender of your child, their wedding is a big deal for both of you. This deserves to be acknowledged so make sure you grab this opportunity and give a great speech.
This means resisting the urge to start your speech with baby stories (all babies cry too much and don’t sleep enough!) or standing up and simply listing all his achievements (just dull).
Instead, paint a picture of his unique personality with your inside stories. Make people laugh but leave them in no doubt how much you love your son and his partner.
Mother Of The Groom Etiquette
Relax. There isn’t any. Just be polite and welcoming and you’ve ticked the etiquette box.
- DON’T – You don’t need to go formal or overly posh. There’s rarely a need to address the guests as ‘ladies and gentlemen’ and it can often sound too formal if you do. A simple ‘Well hello everyone’ will suffix.
- DO – If there are guests you haven’t yet met then it’s worth introducing yourself as the groom’s mum.
- DO – If you’re first on the wedding speech line up then it’s your job to welcome everyone to the wedding. Get some humour in there early and you’ll find you immediately relax.
- DON’T – Now, a lot of parents make the mistake of thinking they need to thank certain guests, ones who have travelled far or are particularly elderly. That’s actually your son’s job so don’t steal his thunder.
- DO – Of course, if you’re giving a speech in the absence of his dad, then it’s certainly worth reading our Dearly Departed blog – everything you need to know to pay a heartwarming tribute without the risk of becoming overly emotional.
- DO – Conclude your speech with a toast to the happy couple but make sure it’s more exciting than the usual father of the bride offering. Maybe toast ‘a lifetime of dancing on tables’?
The structure of a mother of the groom speech is similar to a father of the bride speech. Here’s the idea…
- Welcome all the guests and get them laughing straight away
- Tell some funny anecdotes from your son’s childhood (ideally illustrating qualities that everyone will recognise in him today)
- Pay tribute to the man he is today. The good stuff, the lovely stuff, but most importantly, the funny stuff.
- Recount meeting your son’s partner for the first time and how you’ve grown to love them and their family
- You may want to offer some funny or heart-warming advice to the married couple. Nothing too profound or pompous.
Basically, your challenge is to sum up a lifetime of love in less than ten minutes.
In terms of content, you could choose to concentrate on one particularly funny story or several stories that link up nicely. You may remember something from their childhood which seems particularly relevant today. Or you may want to offer some advice on how your son should behave as a husband.
1 – INDULGE IN MEMORIES
Writing your mother of the groom speech is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It’s your chance to dig out the old photos, memory boxes, and school reports and get properly nostalgic. Indulge!
But as well as a trip down memory lane, use this time to dig up the evidence. How do the childhood artifacts relate to the man he is today? Were there early indications he’d be an engineer? Or were his teachers completely wrong about him?
He’ll love the surprising insights you can reveal, as will the guests!
2 – DON’T FORGET HIS PARTNER
Yes, there will be so much to say about your son but don’t forget the other half of the happy couple!
If it’s a heterosexual wedding, the father-of-the-bride may make fun of the groom in their speech, but it’s not as common for anyone to make fun of the bride on ‘her big day’. Avoid this at all costs unless you’re sure they’re up for a little gentle teasing about the time they split red wine all over your cream carpet. If you have any doubts, don’t. Your son’s worked very hard to get this wife and, if you scare her off, another one may not be around for a while.
If it’s a same-sex marriage your new son-in-law may be up for a little more ribbing. Completely sexist but we’ve generally found this to still be the case.
3 – BE FUNNY
All wedding speeches should contain an element of humour, not just the best man’s.
No one is expecting you to be a stand-up comedian so just be yourself. Avoid any ‘wedding jokes’ you’ve found on Google and instead rely on all the real, authentic stories that will make your speech memorable and meaningful.
Remember the adage ‘it’s funny because it’s true’. Pinpoint the things that make your son unique. What are his quirks? His guilty pleasures? What is he obsessed by?
Read our blog How To Be Funny if you need more advice.
4 – KEEP IT SHORT
You’ll amaze yourself with just how much material you find once you get started on your speech but remember, brevity is the soul of wit, so be selective and make sure your speech is somewhere between 750 and 1,300 words (Max!).
When you’ve written your first draft, set yourself a challenge to edit it in half. Stories, jokes, and speeches are all better if they’re punchy.
5 – PREPARE TO DELIVER
No matter how good your speech is, it won’t sound good if you rush through it. So take your time, look at the audience, and don’t mumble into the mic. If you’re not a confident speaker, read our How To Deliver Like A Pro for lots of easy, confidence-boosting tips. As ex-BBC directors, we know the tricks of the presenting trade.
And that’s it! Check out the Speechy blog for lots more information and tips, but most importantly – relish this opportunity.
Ultimately, whatever you end up saying, your son will be proud of you, and everyone there will be rooting for you!