Groom Speech Advice
How To Write A Groom Speech: The Ultimate Modern Guide
Let’s face it – unless you’ve been married more times than Nicolas Cage, you probably don’t know how to write a groom speech. And that’s perfectly normal. What’s not normal is panic-Googling “groom speech jokes” and ending up with a script that sounds like it was written by ChatGPT’s boring uncle.
You deserve better than cliché punchlines and recycled etiquette. Enter the Speechy team – ex-BBC scriptwriters who’ve gone from writing award-winning telly to crafting wedding gold. Our advice has featured everywhere from The New York Times to The Times.
And, as the authors of ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, we have all the groom speech tips you need…
* But if you’d rather skip the homework, check out our groom speech services and let us do the word-wizardry for you – no scrolling, no stress, just a speech that nails it.
What You’ll Find In This Blog
Modern Groom Speech Etiquette
Let’s get one thing straight – the first rule of groom speech etiquette is not to get bogged down by it. A lot of the traditional advice is outdated.
You don’t need to kick off with a formal greeting. Speak like you’re talking to mates. And while you don’t have to toast the bridesmaids, you should thank them.
Modern etiquette is all about authenticity. Your main job? Deliver a heartfelt tribute to your partner, don’t read out a checklist of thank yous.
“Etiquette should enhance your speech, not dilute it. It’s not about ticking boxes. It’s about sounding like you mean it.” – The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches
Marrying a bloke? Check out our gay groom etiquette guide.
Who Should the Groom Thank in His Speech?
Yes, thank-yous matter. Forgetting to mention your mother-in-law is not a great look. But keep it concise and punchy.
Traditionally, grooms thank:
- Everyone for coming
- Their in-laws
- Their own parents
- The best man and ushers
- The bridesmaids and maid of honour
You might also want to mention stepchildren, close friends, or anyone important in your lives-but avoid reciting half the guest list.
Old-school etiquette guides like Debrett’s say the groom should thank the father of the bride. Fine, but make it spontaneous. Pick up on something he said. Be playful. Don’t script a generic “thank you for your lovely speech.”
Keep each thank-you under 50 words. Be specific, be real. Thank your in-laws for introducing you to obscure Spanish wine, not just “raising a wonderful daughter.”
Never thank people you’ve paid- no matter how much you love your florist.
Want help with trimming down your list? Try our Speech Editing Service.
How Should the Groom Mention Absent Loved Ones?
Skip shoutouts to anyone simply missing the wedding-unless they’re watching online.
When it comes to the dearly departed, timing and tone are everything.
If you’ve recently lost someone close, acknowledge them meaningfully before the wedding-maybe over dinner with family or a walk to their favourite spot. Give yourself space to grieve without making your speech the moment for that release.
On the day, keep it brief and uplifting. Think smiles, not sobs. A shared toast to your dad’s favourite malt? A bouquet made from Grandma’s garden favourites? Perfect.
“A tribute shouldn’t eclipse your speech-it should enhance the love in the room.” – The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches
Always script this moment and place it near the end. Starting your speech with a eulogy? Brutal recovery.
Explore more in Paying Tribute to The Dearly Departed.
Does The Groom Still Need to Toast the Bridesmaids?
Short answer: no.
Long answer: while it’s polite to thank the bride’s squad (unless she’s doing it), there’s no need to make it the grand finale. At Speechy, we slot this thank-you in just before the best man and ushers.
Avoid clichés. Instead of “beautiful and supportive,” say something that captures their vibe. “Basically her personal hype team and cocktail advisors.”
Only toast twice: once for the dearly departed and once at the end – to your partner and your shared future.
Need a great final toast line? Check out our Groom Speech Ideas blog.
Should A Groom Hand Out Gifts During His Speech?
Nope. Bouquets are lovely, but don’t kill the vibe by playing Santa mid-speech.
Give gifts earlier in the day or mention you’ll “hand them out personally later.” Keeps your flow, keeps guests focused.
How Does A Groom Thank Divorced Parents?
Carefully but honestly.
Acknowledge both parents equally. If their partners have been significant in your life, feel free to name-check them.
If there’s tension, script this bit with diplomacy. Avoid over-praising one side unless you’re prepared for passive-aggressive glares in the photos.
What If The Wedding Includes International Guests?
Weddings with an international guestlist are becoming more common.
But if English isn’t the first language of many guests, avoid live translation—it kills the pace.
Instead, try a few well-rehearsed lines in their language. It’ll mean the world to them, and probably get a laugh.
“If you can’t be fluent, be funny.” – The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches
Want help scripting those lines? Let SpeechyAI translate your charm
Make Your Groom Speech Funny
Before we get stuck into writing your speech, let’s talk about humour - because it matters. Everyone expects a groom speech to be romantic, but the best ones are funny too.
Why? Because laughter connects people. It calms your nerves, warms up the crowd, and makes everything you say more memorable.
You don’t have to be naturally hilarious. As professional TV scriptwriters and comedians, we’ve worked with people who think ‘banter’ is a flavour of crisps - and we’ve still helped them deliver cracking speeches.
“The goal isn’t to get a standing ovation. It’s to make people smile, chuckle, and feel part of something brilliant.” - The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches
Here’s all the groom speech tips you need to make your guests laugh…
Being funny isn’t about finding jokes on the internet – it’s about making witty observations about your partner, yourself and your relationship.
Whatever you do – avoid commonly used Groom Speech ‘Jokes‘. You want to make your guests laugh, not groan.
- ‘Without all of you here today, it wouldn’t have been the same… but it would have been cheaper.’
- ‘Let me tell you that is not the first time today I have risen from a warm seat with a bit of paper in my hand.’ And so on . . .
Basically, if the joke could be used in someone else’s wedding speech, it shouldn’t be in yours.
Humans are wired for stories. Neuroscientists have shown that storytelling activates multiple parts of the brain and triggers empathy.
Short, honest anecdotes make speeches shine. Your stories don’t need to be epic - just personal, surprising, and revealing.
Try one or two of these:
- How you met (especially if it’s awkward)
- The first holiday disaster
- Meeting the parents
- A quirky habit you discovered post move-in
- Embarrassing moments
- A challenge you’ve overcome together
“Stories are richer than punchlines because they reveal character, build connection and let the humour land naturally—without sounding like a try-hard.”
— The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches
Need help remembering the funny stuff?
- Dig up old dating app bios (did she really say she was ‘adventurous’?).
- If you met at work, mock your job description.
- Childhood sweethearts? Pull out a school report or two.
- Scroll through old photos - great for unlocking forgotten comedy gold.
Note: don’t include the actual photos in the speech. This isn’t a PowerPoint.
At Speechy, observational humour is our go-to. It’s honest, specific, and easy to pull off.
Look at the oddities in your relationship. What’s your unwritten household rule? What minor things do you always bicker about? Who controls the thermostat?
You don’t need to exaggerate. A simple, relatable truth - like your partner eating cereal from a mug - can be comic gold if delivered right.
The gold-star in groom speech tips.
The callback is where you plant a story or a piece of info at the start of the speech, possibly as a throwaway line, and then reference it later on.
Watch professional comedians on stage and you’ll see nearly all of them deploy the technique. It’s not only funny, it’s a technique that makes you look smart. Win-win.
For example, share that story where you accidentally stapled your shoe to the floor when you renovated your first house together. Later, conclude your speech by saying ‘…I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, even if I do have to staple your shoes to the floor to make sure you’re by my side forever more.’
The callback is basically establishing an inside joke that everyone is part of.
To make it work
- Plant something funny, and crucially, memorable in the first third of your speech.
- Then simple refer to it towards the end of your speech.
Voila. You’ve become a comedy pro.
Still needing help working out how to write your groom speech, make people laugh and not resort to ChatGPT?
Check out some groom speech videos or read our example groom speeches. Another optionfind out more about SpeechyAI – in another league to any AI speech generator (as this one’s created by actual speechwriters).
“SpeechyAI got me laughing out loud at lines I wish I’d written myself. It turned my waffle into wit.” - Speechy Groom Client
Or hand the whole thing over to us. We’re pros for a reason. Check out our Groom Speech Products and Services.
How To Write A Groom Speech That Actually Works
If you’re reading this, probably now.
Don’t wait for divine inspiration to strike. It rarely does.
We advise sitting down at least two months before the big day and committing pen to paper (or at least, turn off your notifications and type a few hundreds words).
Once you start, it gets easier. Even when you’re not sitting in front of the laptop, once you’ve genuinely engaged your brain in the process of speechwriting, it will work on a subconscious level for you. You’ll find when you get back to the screen, you’ll have plenty more ideas.
And, of course, it’s always easier improving a speech than it is starting one.
Here’s the Speechy-approved format:
- Open strong – A laugh or clever line
- Speech-meat – Stories, insight, humour, and why you love your partner
- Thank yous – Keep them warm, witty and brief
- Tribute to absent loved ones – If appropriate
- Romantic finale – Make it personal, not platitude
- Final toast – Raise a glass to your partner and your future
“The worst speeches front-load their thank yous. That’s not how you hook an audience. Lead with connection.” - The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches
Please, skip the waffle.
No need to talk about how far people have travelled or how special the day is. They know. Instead, get straight to the funny or surprising stuff.
Some ideas:
- “Apparently marriage is about compromise. So far, I’ve compromised on the playlist, the cake, and my haircut. But I’ve never been happier.”
- “So we’ve finally done it. Sophie’s agreed to put up with me for life - and I’ve got that in writing.”
- “Let’s start with the elephant in the room. Why has the gorgeous bride married a lad who thinks Pot Noodles are a food group?”
- “I first met Lucy in a bar. She was reading a book in the middle of the chaos. I had to speak to her - if only to ask what kind of nutter brings John Grisham to a pub.”
Your goal in the first 20 seconds is to win people over. And a laugh is worth a thousand ‘hellos.’
A speech theme is your narrative hook.
Rather than just a list of anecdotes and thanks yous, your speech should tell a story.
Yes, it’s made up of lots of different elements but it needs to hook people in from the beginning, establish a theme and carry that through to an almighty climax.
One basic example might be a teacher who talks about the lessons his wife has taught – the good, the bad and the ability to now name the Kardashians.
Another theme might be the groom’s interpretation of his marriage vows (e.g. man flu does indeed count as ‘sickness’).
Turning your speech into a story makes it easy to follow and entertaining. Find out #whatsyourstory
A heart-warming tribute to your partner should be the focus of your speech but every groom thinks his spouse is gorgeous, kind and generally amaaaaazing.
The only way for this to sound genuine is – prove, don’t tell. Resist too many adjectives and recount the anecdotes that show your partner’s qualities in action.
Cut the clichés and concentrate on what makes your loved one unique. Avoid words like ‘soulmate’ or ‘beautiful’, anything that’s overused.
Are they a library-lover, a technology fiend, a devoted foodie? Nailing their individual and quirky characteristics shows you ‘get them’ and her friends and family will love you for it.
“Avoid the temptation to sound poetic. Go for funny, honest and heartfelt instead.” - The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches
ROMANCE DON’Ts
Do not…
- Be generic – If your romantic lines could be substituted into a stranger’s wedding speech, well, you’re doing something wrong. Romance demands that you get personal.
- Be smug – Being married for a few hours does not grant you the right to be a smug-married yet. Remember there’s likely to be single people out there so resist the urge to suggest finding a life-partner is the only reason for living. You don’t want the bridesmaids crying before 5pm!
- Use meaningless clichés and platitudes – Seriously, ‘soulmate’ is a waste of your word count. What about ‘partner-in-crime’ instead?
- Overuse adjectives – Avoid using too many adjectives and prove, don’t tell. Use evidence to back up your claims.
ROMANCE DOs
Make sure you…
- Remember romance doesn’t need to be serious – You can deliver the sweetest lines with a smile on your face.
- Concentrate on what makes your partner unique – The most powerful way to be romantic is finding the qualities and quirks that make your partner truly unique.
- If you’re struggling for a killer line, get inspired by our Groom Speech Quotes. While plagiarism is never cool, quoting people who are cleverer & wittier than you, is legit.
A good toast summarises the point of your speech. It provides great storytelling symmetry and is a call to action for everyone present.
The toast itself needs to be succinct enough to propose it and people to second it. It’s essentially a contract, so be concise.
“May our marriage be as enduring as my video game sessions and as exciting as finding pizza in the fridge when we thought it was all gone. Here’s to us!”
“In the spirit of wedded bliss, let’s toast to a lifetime of love, compromise, and navigating the dangerous territory of choosing the right side of the bed. May our marriage be as smooth as my hair never is and as full of surprises as her unexpected kitchen dance parties. Cheers to us!”
“To my beautiful bride - my compass, my calm, and the only person who’s ever convinced me to buy matching towels. Here’s to us.”
“To love, laughter, and remembering where we parked. Cheers.”
A maximum of ten mins allowing for laughter and ad-libs. You might feel you have plenty to say but be strict with yourself.
Once you write your first draft, edit it down to half the length. We promise it will make it twice as good. No one ever watched a wedding speech and thought ‘if only it were longer’. It’s the same with jokes; they’re better if they’re punchy.
Ernest Hemingway said ‘The first draft of anything is shit’. This is both true and reassuring.
The edit-process might mean cutting some of your favourite bits but you need to wipe out the waffle and cut out the cliches. Lots of sites offer quick estimates of your speech duration based on your wordcount.
And, if you’re still struggling to make the brutal cuts necessary, remember to check out our Edit Service. We’re not shy about getting tucked in!
How To Deliver Your Groom Speech Like A Pro
It sounds like you, but confident.
Good delivery is conversational, not robotic. According to studies in communication science, a natural speaking rhythm – with variation in tone, strategic pauses, and a relaxed pace – is far more engaging than rapid-fire nervespeak. Aim to talk slightly slower than you do in conversation, with emphasis on key words and space for laughter.
“A good speech should feel like your voice turned up to 11 – warmer, wittier and with a pause where the punchline lands.” – The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches
Avoid sounding monotone (a common nerves default) by marking your script with underlines or bolds to guide your inflections. Pausing after jokes is crucial – give people time to laugh!
A good rule? Think about how you stand when you’re telling a story to mates at the pub. That relaxed, slightly animated energy works just as well at a wedding. A small step forward when you’re making a heartfelt point or a playful shrug after a joke can make you feel—and look—more confident.. Keep your posture open and relaxed—don’t cross your arms or sway nervously.
Smile often (it’s infectious), make eye contact across the room, and gesture naturally.
Start by reading your speech out loud. Then:
- Practice sections rather than all in one go.
- Say it while walking to get the rhythm right.
- Record yourself – cringe later, improve now.
Rather than memorising word-for-word, focus on knowing your structure: opening line, key stories, romantic bits, toast. This keeps you sounding fresh, not robotic.
Yes—with style.
Don’t try to wing it. Notes are totally fine and don’t undermine your impact. Just keep them neat and easy to glance at. A set of cue cards is better than a crumpled A4 sheet.
Using a mobile for speeches is becoming more acceptable these days (and let’s face it, everyone’s glued to theirs anyway). But at Speechy, we still lean toward good old-fashioned paper. It avoids glare, fumbling, and the dreaded auto-lock mid-sentence.
Whichever you use, codify your speech. That means highlighting key sections, bolding important phrases, and marking where to pause or look up. It’s about making your delivery foolproof, even if the nerves kick in.
- Eat – Even if you don’t feel hungry. A banana or a Mars bar is your friend.
- Stay off the booze – Studies show alcohol impairs verbal memory and coordination.
- Hydrate – A glass of water 15 minutes before helps avoid dry mouth.
- Know your venue – Check acoustics and where you’ll stand.
- Look sharp – Feeling good in your outfit helps your confidence.
There’s always one mate who fancies themselves as part of the act. Have a few throwaway lines in your back pocket:
- “And that’s why [name] is banned from open mic night.”
- “Yes, Dave, you were at the stag – no one’s forgotten.”
Pro-tip: Pre-warn a few of your mates to laugh audibly. Laughter is contagious, and if the room hears it early, everyone else relaxes and joins in.
For more guidance, explore our full Delivery Coaching Service or let us help with a custom Speech Edit to perfect your tone.
Groom Speech Advice - The Do's
Check with your partner
If they aren’t giving a speech then you’re speaking on behalf of them too. If nothing else, make sure they’re happy with your thank you list.
Make the thanks yous meaningful
Don’t just talk about what people have contributed to the wedding, thank them for what they’ve contributed to your life (even if it is just an appreciation on malt whiskeys).
Make your toast unique
Drink to ‘a lifetime of dancing on tables’ or consider a #Tequilatoast
Practise your speech and film it on your phone
Watch it back, promise yourself you’ll do something about your gut and spot where your speech can be improved.
Feel free to use clever quotes
But make sure you credit the author or someone else will! Check out our Groom Quote Inspiration guide.
The Speech Don'ts
Don't thank the caterers, the venue, people who have travelled far etc.
It’s unnecessary.
Don't ignore the feedback of friends
It’s always worth testing your speech on a mate, but this means you have to listen to them. If someone doesn’t get a joke, don’t waste your time explaining it as you won’t be able to do that on the day.
Don't talk over laughter
You’ve worked hard for those laughs – don’t rush them. Always wait until your guests have settled down before continuing with your speech.
Don't get overly soppy
Get the balance right between sweet and just showing off. Leave the pet names at home and keep anything overly gushing for the bedroom. Remember, sometimes a couple of lines expressing your love, can be just as powerful as 20.
Groom Speech Advice - Let us help you!
If you want to deliver a legendary speech, work with us.
We’re rated ‘excellent’ on Trustpilot and that’s why we offer a DELIGHT GUARANTEE on all our bespoke services.
And, of course, in the world of Zoom, Whatsapp and Death Wish Coffee, we work with grooms around the world.