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Couple’s Joint Speech

Newlywed Couple’s Joint Speech

Whether it’s a bride & groom or a same-sex wedding speech – joint speeches are a wedding trend that’s set to stay. It’s a great way of saying, BOOM, we’re a team. And who doesn’t love a double act?

The Speechy team have worked with hundreds of couples on their speeches and, as the authors of ‘The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’, we’re a team you can trust. 

Our advice has appeared everywhere from The New York Times to The Times, and The Speechy team are rated ‘Excellent’ on Trustpilot for a reason!

Here’s our guide to rocking your speech…

*If you feel you need more than ‘advice’, check out our Joint Speech Template or our Bespoke Speechwriting Service.

Joint Speech Etiquette

A joint newlywed speech is a relatively new phenomenon but it’s certainly growing in popularity.

A couple’s speech follows the same principles as a groom or bride speech, which these days,  just comes down to common sense. Be polite, be grateful and be yourself. 

1. Thank Yous

Between you, you’ll want to thank…

  • everyone for coming
  • both sets of parents
  • the best man & ushers
  • the maid of honour & bridesmaids

Of course, there may be others you want to mention (children from previous relationships?) but resist the urge to read out half the guest list. Nothing kills off a speech quicker than a tedious thank you list, esp if you’re one of the few guests who doesn’t get a mention.

With each of the thanks, one of you should lead it and, if appropriate, the other can add a sweet or comedy line at the end. 

Of course with the parents, it’s worth you both paying a tribute to each (always good to keep in with the in-laws).

Make sure all your thank yous are more than just generic cliches (‘Thank you for bringing up such a wonderful woman’ – yawn). Instead, your gratitude needs to be genuinely unique and extra points if it’s funny too (‘Mum, thank you for a lifetime of love, tolerance and support. Thank you, also, for your very gullible nature. Twenty years on, I’m still sticking to the story that it was the dog who set the toaster on fire.‘)

Finally, don’t bother thanking anyone you’ve paid. No matter how lovely the venue staff or how much the wedding planner may have done, you shouldn’t waste your wordcount on people you’ve paid. 

bride quotes

2. Length of a Couple's Joint Wedding Speech

The usual length of a single bride or groom speech is generally between 1,000-1,300 words. This ensures it can be delivered within ten minutes (including pauses for laughter and interaction). 

With a joint speech, you’re allowed slightly more leeway but not a lot. We still recommend a joint speech should be 1,500 words or less. Remember you really can have too much of a good thing. 

lesbian bride speech uk

3. How Should a Couple Propose a Toast to the Dearly Departed?

First of all, read our guide to toasting absent loved ones. There are ways you can pay tribute to lost loved ones without becoming overwhelmed on the day or turning your speech into a eulogy. 

The most important advice is NOT to start your speech with the dearly departeds. So many wedding speakers  welcome the guests to the day and then jump straight into toasting those who aren’t there. We don’t think this is a good idea. You want to excite your guests with your stories first and then get to the more functional or sentimental ‘to dos’ later in the speech. 

Of course, one of the many benefits of delivering a joint speech, is if one of you is more affected by the loss, your partner can deliver the toast on your behalf.  

wedidng speech dearly departed

4. Who Should The Newlyweds Toast?

Normally, a bride or groom toasts their new spouse at the end of a speech, so how does a couple conclude their joint speech? 

Well, it’s nice to include everyone present on your special day within it somehow, but the overall theme should be optimism for your future. 

Here’s some examples of newlywed wedding toasts… 

  1. Heartfelt Closure: “As we stand here together, surrounded by the love and support of our dear friends and family, we want to express our deepest gratitude. Today marks the beginning of our journey as a married couple, and we are truly blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives. So, let’s raise our glasses to love, laughter, and a lifetime of unforgettable moments together. Cheers!”

  2. Light-Hearted Cheers: “In the game of life, we’ve just leveled up to the co-op mode! To my player two, my partner in crime, and the love of my life. Here’s to unlimited lives, bonus rounds of happiness, and finding the cheat code to a laughter-filled marriage. Cheers!”

  3. Humorous Twist: “In the roller coaster of life, we’ve just strapped ourselves in for the craziest ride of all – marriage! But with all of you by our side, we know it’s going to be one heck of an adventure. So here’s to love that makes us laugh, to friends who keep us sane, and to family who remind us where we came from. Cheers to love, laughter, and a happily ever after!”

  4. Simple and Sweet: “In the book of our lives, today marks the start of a beautiful new chapter. We are grateful for the love and warmth that fills this room. As we raise our glasses, let’s toast to the simple joys, the shared smiles, and the love that brought us here today. Cheers to a lifetime of happiness and endless love!”

 

wedding speech love story couple

How to Write a Joint Couple Speech

The bad news is writing takes effort. If you want your speech to be unique, you’re going to need to do more than steal the best lines from our speech examples (though do help yourself to a few of them).

We encourage couples to plan an old-school ‘brainstorm’; a date night devoted to your speech. Wine optional but snacks necessary. 

The aim is to gather the building blocks to your speech. 

Think about… 

  • The people you want to thank 
  • Any absent friends or family you want to toast 
  • The stories you want to tell and the anecdotes that will give your guests an insight into your relationship 
  • What speech-themes you can use to help package your speech (we’ll get to that in a bit) 

Once you have agreed the speech-basics, writing your speech becomes a less intimidating prospect. 

couple joint wedding speech uk

Speechy generally advise…

  • Hello, welcome & a laugh
  • The Speech-Meat – Where you tell a few great stories that give an insight into your relationship 
  • Thank yous
  • Acknowledgement of the dearly departed (if necessary)
  • A final more romantic tribute to each other
  • A toast

This structure may be different to most speeches you’ve heard. Many speakers automatically start with the thank yous but, as important as they may be, they are not what really interests your guests. Get to the thank yous once you’ve already hooked everyone in. 

couple joint wedding speech US

As well as your speech including great stories, your overall speech should flow like one. 

Find that narrative hook that will hold all the different elements of your speech together.

Luckily, there’s lots of different themes you can play with as a couple – whether it’s ‘opposite attract’ or ‘the quirks of fate that led you to getting hitched’. 

Let’s say you both happen to be teachers, your theme might be the ‘lessons you’ve learnt from each other over the years’. 

Your structure might look something like this…

  • Hello and welcome
  • Thank everyone for coming and set up the theme, e.g…‘With two teachers getting married today…you may be wondering who gets detention first.’ [Point at each other] Okay, we’re not quite sure but what I can tell you is that we’ve learnt a lot from each other over the years. Some good, some bad…’
  • Lesson 1 – What NOT to say on the first date
  • Partner 1 explains how Partner 2 told a story about weeing themselves and almost getting arrested.
  • Partner 2 reveals how they were put off when Partner 1 confessed to loving Below Deck and admitted they had three maxed out credit cards.
  • Lesson 2 – Love makes you do stupid things
  • Again, both Partner 1 & Partner 2 contribute 
  • Lesson 3 – How to share a house with someone very different 
  • Partner 1 & 2 contribute 
  • Lesson 4 – Why you choose to spend the rest of your life with someone
  • Partner 1 & 2 contribute 
  • Thanks yous
  • Acknowledgement of the dearly departed (if necessary)
  • Toast – Back ref the theme…“As two teachers embarking on this matrimonial adventure, we’ve come to realize that planning a wedding is a lot like preparing for the first day of school – there’s excitement, a touch of nervousness, and the occasional urge to break out the glitter glue. So, let’s raise our glasses to love, which, much like grading papers, requires a keen eye for detail and a whole lot of patience.”

So, how would people describe you as a couple? Are there any common bonds or are there clear differences? Play up to your relationship dynamic and make sure your speech tells a story. 

feminist wedding speech trainers

When it comes to writing the speech, this may, or may not prove to be your toughest relationship challenge to date. You thought table planning was tricky? It’s nothing compared to writing a joint speech. Our advice? Avoid it!

Yes, one of you write the first draft and the other one improves it.  Even this will require some negotiation but at least you won’t be debating words as you write.

(Of course, if you’re struggling with this stage of the process, consider getting the professionals involved. Our Couple’s Bespoke Speechwriting Service might just be for you!) 

All speeches are better if they contain humour. Of course, we don’t mean those awful cheesy wedding one-liners, we mean making witty observations about life and your unique relationship. Check out our How To Make Your Wedding Speech Funny blog to see how simple it can be. 

When it comes to cultivating humour for your couple’s speech, like all good comedy duos, you need to learn to work together and make the most of your relationship. If your relationship dynamic lends itself, one of you can play the straight man and the other the fall guy. 

Create a cretive environment where you can bounce ideas off each other. In the BBC Writersroom, no idea is a bad idea. Or even, if it is, no one points it out.

Remember, bad ideas and differences of opinion are part of the process. Jerry Seinfield, Amy Schumer, Romesh Ranganathan, Kevin Hart; w guarantee, whoever makes you laugh has a lot of rubbish ideas. They just pick the best ones to share with other people.

If your partner comes up with a lame joke, resist the urge to roll your eyes, bang your head on the table and wail ‘what’s the point?’. Instead, play with the idea; humour it, view it as a springboard to new ideas.

wedding speeches funny hire speechwriter

Simply, introduce the idea of a joint speech, welcome your guests and try to get an early laugh. It will immediately relax you both, as well as your audience. 

EXAMPLES OF OPENING LINES FOR YOUR JOINT WEDDING SPEECH

  1. “Well, here we are, folks! They say marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. We’re thrilled to announce that we’ve found each other!”

  2. “Good evening, everyone! We’re the dynamic duo you didn’t know you needed at your wedding. Don’t worry, we’re not here to roast each other, just lightly toast.”

  3. “Hello, everyone! They say marriage is all about compromise. So here we are, compromising our individual speeches into one joint masterpiece. Let the hilarity ensue!”

  4. “Greetings, wedding enthusiasts! We come in peace and love, not to mention wedded bliss. We’ve decided to share the mic tonight because apparently, two heads are better than one – at least that’s what they tell us.”

  5. “Ladies and gentlemen, buckle up! We’re about to prove that planning a wedding and delivering a joint speech is a piece of cake. Unlike choosing the cake flavor, which nearly caused our first marital dispute.”

  6. “Good evening, friends and family! They say marriage is a union between two good forgivers. Well, get ready to witness forgiveness in action as we navigate through this joint speech together!”

engagement wedding speech

Conduct a courtship autopsy and see what you have to play with. Think about the big events; meeting each other, your first date, when you knew they were ‘the one’. We’re not looking for the soppy stories; we’re looking for the stories that show you’re both as bonkers as each other. Find out #Whatsyourstory?

Divide the speech so you each have small sections to deliver (2 – 6 sentences) and alternate throughout. You want to support each other’s narrative. For example…

  • GROOM: ‘It was a surprise finding out we were going to have a baby. Neither of us had changed a nappy in our lives and we didn’t have a clue. We’d never watched a minute of Nickelodeon let alone three hours of it back-to-back.
  • BRIDE: We couldn’t have imagined a time when being up at two in the morning didn’t involve drinking beer and passing out under someone’s table.
  • GROOM: And we could never have imagined the tantrums that could result from feeding a toddler with the wrong-coloured spoon.   
  • BRIDE: But the one thing that we had absolutely no idea about was how amazing having a child would be.’  

 

gay groom wedding speech

We encourage couples to discuss every element of their speech, apart from the final romantic tribute to each other.

With that, just agree the length – (50 to 75 words?) – and who’s going first etc. 

Deliver your lines as a surprise on the day, before uniting to deliver the final toast. 

anniversary speech

Even if you have a wealth of material, be strict with yourself. Once you write your first draft, edit it down to half the length, and we guarantee it will be twice as good.

Ernest Hemingway said ‘The first draft of anything is shit’. This is not only true but reassuring.

People are generally more powerful when their words are punchy. It’s the same with jokes – keep ’em snappy.

(If you’re really struggling with this stage of speechwriting, send in the experts. We offer an ace Edit Service which is guaranteed to make your speech better – or your money back!) 

 

edit your wedding speech

How to Deliver a Joint Couple Speech

Think ahead.

Source microphones and practise how to use them. Think about where you will stand on the day, and how you’ll hold your notes. Think about how you will present your notes on the day. 

With a joint speech, it’s best you have your own notes, rather than share them. 

One of the positives of delivering a joint speech is that you don’t have to rehearse it, hidden away in a cupboard. 

While we encourage clients to use notes, we also stress the importance of memorising the speech or, at least, ensuring the words are deep-rooted.

On the day, you should only be using your notes to reference, rather than read from. It’s something you should be glancing at, not reading.  

Memorise your speech until it bores you. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, surround yourself with it. As public speaking expert, Alan Berg, suggests, record yourself reading it and listen to it repeatedly. On your commute, going to bed, whenever you can.

It’s just a case of speech, sleep, repeat. 

engagement wedding speech

The good news is the sole pressure of delivering your speech is off. The bad news? Delivering your speech has become a bit more complicated.

Yes, the ease of a double act takes some rehearsal. Especially if you want the ‘ad libs’ to look natural.

So, practise your interaction. Smile, roll your eyes, look at one another and play off each other.

Men’s Vows, Eduardo Braniff adds, ‘Your delivery needs to reflect your genuine relationship dynamic. So if one of you is always talking over the other, reflect that. 

You also need to think about what you’re doing when the other person is talking. Make sure you look at the person talking and react. Don’t just lose yourself in your notes!’ 

PRE-DELIVERY CHECKLIST

  • Have a snack – An empty stomach isn’t good for nerves. It may be the last thing you fancy but stuff a handful of canapes down or have a Mars bar on hand.
  • Don’t drink alcohol – Studies have shown even one glass of alcohol can reduce your public speaking skills. 
  • Drink water – A glass of water a few minutes prior to speaking will ensure you don’t dry up.
  •  

ON THE MIC CHECKLIST

  • Stand up, breathe deep and smile.
  • Smile and laugh at each other’s lines. Add appropriate eye rolls and shaking of your head! 
  • Don’t talk over each other – Give your speech room to breathe

 

wedding speeches couples bespoke speech writer uk

Speech Do's

Keep the joint speech a surprise

Guests will love it.

Make the thanks yous meaningful

Don’t just talk about what people have contributed to the wedding, thank them for what they’ve contributed to your life (even if it is just an appreciation on malt whiskeys).

Talk slower than feels natural

It’s what those authoritative people do to make themselves seem more intelligent.

Consider using quotes

You can find inspo on our Groom Quotes or Bride Quotes page.

Speech Don'ts

Don't thank the caterers, the venue, people who have travelled far etc

It’s unnecessary.

Don't resort to clichés

Yes you can thank your in-laws for ‘raising such a wonderful daughter’ but try to make it personal too. Thank your mother in law for the extra inch added to your waistline since you first sampled her Yorkshire Puddings.

Don't talk over laughter

You’ve worked hard for those laughs – don’t rush them. Always wait until your guests have settled down before continuing with your speech.

Couple’s Joint Speech - Let us help you!

Our Joint Speech Template is the ultimate DIY kit for writing and delivering a great wedding speech.

If you’d prefer a bit more bespoke help, there’s a number of services we can offer, all of which, come with a DELIGHT GUARANTEE.

And, of course, in the world of Zoom, Whatsapp and Death Wish Coffee, we work with couples around the world.

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